Always A Woman- Billy Joel

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes.
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies,
and she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me.

She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you.
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you,
and she'll take what you give her as long it's free.
Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me.

Oh, she takes care of herself.
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out
and she never gives in,
she just changes her mind.

And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden,
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding.
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me.


She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel.
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool.
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree.
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
but she's always a woman to me.

"Sacrifice"

"Sacrifice truly means ‘to make sacred’. By giving up something you really want, you are instead only hurting yourself; you are not making any relationship sacred. Even though you may give something up for someone, it is not sacrifice unless you are truly happy inside and without resentment. Anything short of this is truly superficial. Its only after you learn how to truly love yourself, making sacrifices becomes so much easier and accurate to its definition. Let me explain.
Sacrifice is never about giving up happiness but gaining even more happiness for yourself by making others happy. When you unconditionally love others, seeing them happy is what truly makes you happy. If they find happiness in what you have and you truly love them, giving it to them is really easy when you know that your happiness comes from within you and no where else. Sacrifices becomes very simple and no different than a side effect of true love. Sacrifice always originates from self when self is ready and should never be imposed or expected of you.
The act of sacrifice has been glorified but it has lost its meaning over time and lately associated with giving up for a long term benefit. But there is never any long term benefit gained from performing it in guilt, greed or force. In most cases, follow your instinct; in some where it is confusing, its best to wait and let the effects of time convince you. Do whatever it takes to balance between keeping yourself happy and doing things to keep others happy.
"

Always Midnight- Pat Monahan

Seems like it's always midnight;
sweeping up broken glass after every fight
with the sound of a train
that I could have been on
reminding me that the last one's gone.
With you,
it's always midnight.

Are you blind?
Can't you see me standing here
waiting in line
for you?
Are you mine?
Not just when you wanna be,
all of the time?
Are you blind?
Don't you see me standing here?
Won't you tell me what it is
I'm waiting to find?

You're right,
I must be crazy.
You're out getting high,
I'm here pretending I'm in love.
The sound of your heart,
my head on your chest,
dropped your hands to your sides
and gave up.
I'd rather be crazy than right
tonight.

Won't you tell me what it is
I'm waiting to find?

A way to get back to you,
a way to get out of here?
I don't want to be alone
at midnight anymore.
How do I get away?
Wanna see you in the daylight.
I don't wanna be afraid of
midnight anymore.

With the sound of a train
that I should have been on
reminding me that the last one's gone.
With you,
there's always midnight.

Are you blind?
Can't you see me standing here
waiting in line
for you?

With you,
it's Always Midnight.

If ever you start to doubt yourself,
just look at your son and remember all of the beauty
that you brought to this world.

Nothing can compare to that.

#3

Wow, another year has gone by. It seems like time goes by faster and faster every day.
You are three years old today and I can't believe it. I remember the day I met you like it was yesterday; your gorgeous brown eyes and your mother's smile. You were too young to know what was going on, but you still seemed so aware of everything. Of course, I was instantly in love.
Since that day, I have watched you grow and learn and mature, and I have fallen even more in love with you. Watching you grow had been a blessing of the greatest kind. I have learned things from you that I never could have foreseen myself ever knowing, and you have taught me many of life's greatest lessons. You are my hero and you make me proud every single day.
I know that you will do great things with your life, and I will be here for you every step of the way, I promise you that. You are one of my favorite people, and you always will be. I hope to be able to celebrate this day with you for years and years to come.
Happy birthday, Wes.

All of my love, forever and always,
Ash

IX.XIV.MMVII

Our Last Night- Better Than Ezra

We were standing in an empty room,
the moonlight was falling.
You were holding my hand when the car
pulled up for you.
And I could have spent a life with you,
but those days were over.
You were calling my name when your face faded from view.

And wasn't it you who told me
the sun would always chase the day?
Wasn't it you who told me...

Angels fly in the air tonight
saying, "wasn't it just like swimming out on the lake?"
Stars collide, and the air's alive.
Or was it just like those promises that you made
on our last night?

I remember waking up with you,
the days doing nothing.
You meant more to me then
than I think you ever knew.
But you were going to be a doctor, movie star, a poet at a Nobel seminar.
I hope the world never tore that out of you.

And wasn't it you who told me
the sun would always chase the day?
Or was it just like those promises that you made?

And what ever happened to the things you loved,
the songs we played in the older days?
What ever happened to the things you gave away?

I was waving as you drove away.
The sunlight was falling.
You were writing backwards in a dusty windowpane.
"Angels fly in the air tonight.
Saying, "wasn't it just like swimming out on the lake?
Stars collide, and the air's alive.
Or was it just like those promises that you made
on our last night?

For You, For Today.

Every day, I think about you.
Not a second goes by where you aren't there.
But do not feel proud.
I do not miss you.
The thoughts I have are not complimentary.
I despise everything that you now represent
because you stole the girl that I loved.
Now you are nothing like the person that I knew.
Now you are the fool who thinks you are in the right.

Everything you receive in this world is because of you
and only you.
Do not expel hatred onto the world and blame it for your sorrows.
Do not hurt those you love and say that they betrayed you.
This is how you lose the only ones who really care.

I see it now, how I spent so much time on you and received only one thing in return:
A release

You once said you were ready to forgive me.
I do not need your forgiveness.
I do not need your forgiveness, because you do not think that you need mine.
We both took punches, but we both gave them in return.
Your hands are not free of blood.
You are just blinded.

I think of you, but I do not miss you.
I loved you, but I do not love you.

A Letter to My Love

I have loved you all of my life, I am sure of this. I just wasn't always sure of who you were.

When you first came to me, I was wary. From the beginning, I felt a lot of things that I had never known before. I felt a relief. I felt a sense of belonging. I felt a sense of empowerment and commitment and understanding. All of that is a bit scary when it first comes. But now, my love, you have all of my heart. And now, my love, I am not the least bit afraid.

You have shown me things that I was blind to before. You have opened my eyes to a wonderful world of infinite wisdom, passion, and beauty. You have been my strength at some of my weakest moments. You have opened my mind.

If I have ever been in love, it was surely with you. And if true love really exists, I have found it in you. If forever is possibly, then you will forever have my heart. Of this, I am sure.

You are gorgeous, in every sense of the word. You are special. You are my number one. You are all of the beautiful parts of my life. And, for that, I will always be thankful.

Your love for me is, and always has been, unconditional. And, for that, I will always be grateful. I will always be here for you, the way you have always been there for me.

I know you are far too young to understand it now, but I hope that someday you will see all that you have done for me. I hope that you always know your strength and your worth, because the only things you have ever been to me are worthy and strong.

You, my son, are my first true love. You, my love, are my world.

Forever and always, no matter what,
Ash

Choice

You can shed tears because she has gone, or you can smile because she was once there.
You can close your eyes and pray she will come back, or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left you with.
You can let your heart be empty because you lost her, or you can let your heart be full of the love that you once got to share.
Life is full of choices. In the end, it is all up to you.

Fire and Ice- Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Souvenirs- Mary Beth Maziarz

I could let you slip away;
just wait for rainy days.
But wouldn't that be failing us,
letting go too soon,
when everything I am still holds on to you?

And these souvenirs keep you here.
You're really somewhere down the road, I know,
but I'm still stranded here,
holding all these souvenirs.

I could hide somewhere,
pretend I didn't care,
fill my time with daily things until I'm numb.
But isn't all this feeling why we reach for love at all?
Isn't it the reason that we hear the call
for more than all?

These souvenirs keep you here.
You're really somewhere down the road, I know,
but I'm still stranded here,
holding all these souvenirs.

Wherever You Are- Celeste Prince

Time has come, what's done is done.
It's time to move on
to another place, another space,
maybe circling some other sun.
Don't ask why, don't ask how,
I still can`t explain.
To say goodbye, goodbye for now,
until I see you again

In the sunlight, that's where I'll be.
In the moonlight, close your eyes, you will see me.
In the sunrise, in the twilight,
I'll be the morning and the evening star.
I will be there with you wherever you are.

Life is strange, such joy and pain,
the betrayal and the kiss.
It may be meant to be, maybe destiny
leads us down a path like this.
A child is born, true love is sworn,
and all the in-between.
Well you just walk on, walk on until the path is gone,
learning love is the only everything.

In the sunlight, that's where I'll be.
In the moonlight, close your eyes, you will see me.
In the sunrise, in the twilight,
I'll be the morning and the evening star.
I will be there with you wherever you are.

The Widows of Impeccant Love

A house is standing on a hill
with a dimly-lit up light
And inside the house upon the hill
lives a hideous delight

The summer sun is setting in
around the wooden frame.
As widows raise the fallen arcs
and call the virtuous by name.

The virtuous speak in calming rhymes
as they travel to the call
And the widows, they just fall in line,
devoted to it all

Promenading, two-by-two,
across the garden floor,
the innocent take widowed hands
and die with them once more.

The virtuous speak loud and long
of their deep, unfailing love
and the widows use they breath they've saved
for their lovers left above.

But the virtuous stand lonely still
in a striking loss of trust
To see how they'll soon be widowed
by a lonely lover's lust

The Night of the Flightless, Fightless, and Foregone

The intentions of the night are obvious; it wants to steal my soul.
I walk the narrow city streets to the place I used to call my home.
The wind whispers passing gestures as my mind focuses on thoughts of you.

I am stuck in this night alone, with not an inch more room to self-destruct.
This is where I built my safety; in this hollow realm of written emotion.
Here, in this place, I am every one and I am no one.

You sure as hell did make me somebody, but I'm just somebody who nobody knows.
Because you know I'm only what I think of you.
And lately my thoughts are weak.

The dark sky rest its sturdy hand upon my eyes, desperate to make judgment.
Because I built my new home on the walls that you built around your heart.
And damn, it's cold here.

Your smile rests in the stars, mocking any bit of salvation I may once have found.
I am not desperate, I am only desperately wanting more.
Go ahead, tell me that I'm wrong.

I will keep my shelter in your dimly-lit streets.
The night will always be my last hope,
because the night is one thing that will never say goodbye.

Love

Oh Atlanta, Please Need Me Like I Needed You...

...let your sweaty embrace open wide. 'Cause Atlanta, I'm falling, like some people do, and I need all your ground to survive.

Dear Die-ary,

"I stared motionless,
before the mirror,
as always,
I stayed until I am convinced that there is no glass,
nothing,
separating me from the room I see on the other side.
I imagine that everything is different.
Over there.
Better.
There are people,
in that world,
who I would like.
But as always,
my hand hit the glass.
I know that if I'd only waited just one more second..."
~Johnny

Snuff- Slipknot

Bury all your secrets in my skin.
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins.
The air around me still feels like a cage
and love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again.

So if you love me, let me go
and run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.

Deliver me into my fate.
If I'm alone I cannot hate.
I don't deserve to have you.
Oh, my smile was taken long ago.
If I can change, I hope I never know.

I still press your letters to my lips
and cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.
I couldn't face a life without your lights,
but all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight.

So save your breath, I will not care,
I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love.
Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend,
then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint,
oh, my own was banished long ago.
It took the death of hope to let you go.

So break yourself against my stones
and spit your pity in my soul.
You never needed any help,
you sold me out to save yourself.

And I won't listen to your shame,
You ran away, you're all the same.
Angels lie to keep control,
my love was punished long ago.
If you still care don?t ever let me know.

Someday, I could have my own children; that is something to want. I will give them yellow roses and, if they get too loud, I will send them to some quiet place. And I will kiss them every day and tell them, 'You don't have to be anybody, because I would know that being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway.'

Good morning, Love

I woke up this morning to Wesley playing with my hair. When I opened my eyes, he smiled, hugged me and said, "hi, Mommy Ashley."
I love him more than anything.

Ex, Jane

She chose the name of Jane.
She lives off of cigarettes and champagne,
always looking for a thrill.

Stays out until the break of dawn,
wakes up wondering what's going on.
Happy ever after is what she's killed.

And everybody learns from someone else;
you can have what you want
but you just might lose yourself.

You'll never get it down until you know;
if you want to feel the heat,
you have to let your heart get cold
I don't really ever want to know.

I'm done will all the sappy rhymes
of jilted lovers and sorrowed times.
Of broken-hearted, desperate lines
and troubled, maddened, sickened minds.
Baby, you can't have me anymore.

"...Some days, I sit in my small apartment with my loneliness, an unwanted guest, the pain intense enough that I keep my arms wrapped around my middle. I can almost envision it in there- a tiny girl with dead eyes, sitting alone in the dark. I hold her tightly, trying to bring her back to life. On these days, I don't want anyone. Being alone feels more honest..."

It is amazing how we can spend our entire lives searching for who we think we want to be.
Sometimes we try so hard to find ourselves that we end up more lost.
Sometimes we just end up going in circles forever.
Sometimes we don't know that we're trying at all.
Whichever the case, we must never stop searching.

I stare at the moon and I think of you.
I can't help but wonder if you're thinking too.

The Last Time

“This is the last time,” she says, as she coyly presses her body against mine, her lips grazing my ear. The words echo in my head like bullets in a tin barrel, but I still can’t make myself believe them.
“I know,” I mouth to her, offering what I think she views as condolence.
I look deep into her eyes, hoping to see the girl that I wish that she was. But there is nothing inside of her but an empty, hollowness.

She kisses me. I feel it in my soul, as I had always hoped to; just as I always had. I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t be the last time, but the tears that slowly ran down my face showed her that my mind thought differently. I couldn’t let her see that I knew she was wrong.

She always was my downfall. She always was my strength, and she will always be my weakness. I still can’t really explain the yearning that I have for her. It is something that steals all of my soul and makes me abandon all control. Maybe that is really what has always drawn me to her. Maybe that inconceivable dispossession of something I have based my entire existence on is the one thing that sets me free. Either way, all of that comes from her presence. It comes solely from her existence in my life.

I feel the morning light being to break, burning its hourglass into the dark room that we used to rest in together.

This is the last time.

I look to my left and see her lying, face down, on the bed. I look to my right and see that the walls are painted a light shade of blue. It is amazing how things change. Even the most subtle of things can take you by such surprise.

I walk towards her, knowing that this is another moment of change, another letting go. Not for the first time, she is more than what I knew she was. I see in her a new kind of beauty. She is closer to me than before, but at the same, she is farther away.
Time has changed things, that is for sure.
Tonight, even her name sounds different.
Her touch is less credible, and her whispers are louder and less sincere.
The colors in her eyes seem mute; faded by my ruthlessness. They now mirror the blue on the wall as they attempt to mask (quite ineffectively) the sadness in her heart.

At this point, I know that it’s not going to stop. I have searched for a cure for this love for some time now, to no avail.

She looks to me.

I sigh.

“I still love you,” I say, as I walk out the door.

This is the last time.

"...I lie in bed and think about what I did. It is still too close to think too much about, the loss too raw. But knowing that he hurts makes me feel a little better. All the time that we were together, I got so little from him. I have to wonder if I did this in part to see if he cared. To prove to myself that I was loved. I don't like seeing this about myself. It's selfish and insensitive. Worse, it reminds me of something my mother might do, then claim herself as a victim..."

The Brilliant Dance- Dashboard

So you buried all your lover's clothes
and burned the letters Lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?

And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange;
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down,
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task,
and thinking's just too much to ask,
and you're measuring your minutes
by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible,
starving,
insatiable.
Yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well, weren't we all once
before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

You meant nothing more
to me than everything.

Manchester Orchestra- Please, Don't Go

On the outside of your window I lie
and make all my plans for the week.
I can talk all night long about those that I love;
well who's strong and who's weak?

In her little black box, she keeps pictures of Jesus
and the bruises she received again.
In his little black box, he keeps his innocence
and the tears when he said "don't go..."

But she didn't listen, did she?
"Don't go, Darling, don't go"

Realizing that he didn't need her as much
as he needed fixing again
wasn't half as hard as he thought it was going to be.
Well, at least you're being honest

Don't go, but you never listen, do you?
Don't go, just go, don't go.

Can you hear my voice on the telephone,
trying to feel alive again?
Finally realized that I didn't need them at all,
much less to feel alive again.

The Girl I Used to Love

As I was looking through a bunch of old pictures this morning, I came to a realization that made my body ache and my stomach churn. I realized that I don't even know her anymore.
That statement is true on two different levels:
On the first level, I don't know who she is as a person. I don't know how she spends her time, I don't know where she works, I don't know what books she reads or what kind of foods she eats or what she wants her life to turn into...
Now, all of that may seem like trivial things that should be unimportant to an ex, but all of that is the precursor to second part of not knowing her, which is the part that deeply saddens me. The second part to this is the fact that I don't know any of the things that I used to know about her. I don't know who her friends are anymore, I don't know her favorite song or her favorite movies or her favorite color. So many things have changed that I have no clue anymore who she is. For all intents and purposes, she is a stranger to me now, and that sucks. She was the biggest part of my life for such a long time, and now she is nothing more than a memory. The girl I knew and loved is gone.
The girl I knew loved daisies and the little purple flowers that grow on the side of the road. The girl I knew loved the smell of old books and dreamed of someday owning her own used book store. The girl I knew feared instruments with strings but loved the sound of a guitar being played. The girl I knew got excited when she got a ten dollar bill from a customer at work. The girl I knew loved swings and children and photographs and vintage rings. The girl I knew was filled with an innocence that I envied. The girl I knew was passionate, caring, gentle. The girl I knew was simple, yet complex.
Now, the only thing I know is that the girl I knew is different. The simplicity wore off and the complexity turned to cynicism. The innocence washed away with the passion. There is no girl that I used to love, there is only a memory of her.

When the Time is Right- Griffin House

It can be a real long road;
it can be a lonely night
when you're on your own
and you're running out of light.
It can be a real long ride
when your running out of time.

So when the time is right,
don't hold back.

Doesn't matter who you are;
doesn't matter where you've been.
Doesn't matter where you start;
only matters where you end.

It can be a real long road
when I'm looking in your eyes.
Give me just one more chance,
give me just one more try.

When the time is right,
don't hold back.

Doesn't matter who you are;
doesn't matter where you've been.
Doesn't matter where you start;
only matters where you end.

So when the time is right,
please, don't hold back.

We twist and turn where angels burn.
Like fallen soldiers, we will learn
that, once forgotten, twice removed,
love will be the death of you.

Late-Night Memories

Last night I had to drive through Suwanee to get home. I passed her mom's house; the first place I met her. I passed the Waffle House that we went to, many times, late at night. I passed the restaurant where we went on our first date and the gas station that I pulled into later that night to call Melissa and tell her how in love I was. I passed the Wendy's that I parked at while waiting for Laurie to come rescue me in her penguin pajamas when my car almost exploded on the highway.
The song playing on my radio hit close to home. "...if you miss it again, miss it again, I'm around." As I listened to the music and thought about everything, I started to cry. It was the first time I have cried over her in nearly a month. But...it was the first time that I have cried over her and it actually felt good.

It was more than two years ago that we met. She was perfection in my mind; smart, witty, gentle, compassionate, motivated, genuine, and the list goes on. She was just one of those people who captivates you, mind, body, and soul. Her smile was sweet and her touch was soft. She was the most genuine, honest person I had ever known. I was a dorky, prepubescent romantic who was excited to start a new chapter in my life; a family. We fit together remarkably well and I saw my future with her almost instantly. I loved her like I had never loved anyone, and I loved loving her. I was fascinated by the idea that I could be so perfectly and passionately in love with someone. The sun felt warmer and the wind felt crisper and life just felt lighter. She was my strength, and I knew that I wanted that for the rest of my life.
We were happy for a long time. We grew close and we fell in love. Through everyone's eyes, we were a perfect fit. But times change and things change and people change. It happened gradually, but I realized it all at one moment that she was not the girl that I fell in love with. A lot of the things that I had loved most about her were gone. I in no way fault her for that; it's life, and I know that I have changed too. We can't deny the fact that time changes people and people change people, but I sure as hell tried my best for a long time. A lot of my own denial of that fact was just a result of my stout objections to reality, which have existed my entire life. And those objections served as a protection of my love for her. I didn't want to let go of that passion and that romance that we had.
For nearly a year, every sappy love song that I heard and every romantic book that I read reminded me of her. Every "I miss you and I will always love you, even if we aren't together but someday I know we will be back together again because we have too much love for each other to not be together"movie reminded me of the fact that I couldn't let her go. I had this idea that if I held on, just a little longer, she would eventually realize that we are supposed to be together. I thought that if I put my life on hold and waited around for that day to come that it would prove to her that she is the only one that I want, the only one who is that important to me. Every so often I saw glimpses of the person she used to be, and I held onto that so tightly. I would remember those short moments and I would foolishly think that I could get her back to that point. I didn't want to let the "old her" go. I thought I could somehow bring her back to the times where we were in love and she would see what we could have again. But now, months later, I think differently. I know now that we are very different, and as much as the hopeless romantic in me wants to sit here and say that I will wait around forever, I know that is pointless. I need to move on and let her move on. I know now that I will be okay without her.
I still love her very, very much and I am certain that a part of me will always love her, but that part of me loves her for who she was two years ago, not who she is now. It was difficult for me to come to the realization that the girl I fell in love with doesn't exist anymore, but now that I have realized that, I know that I can honestly move forward.
If it's one thing I have realized in life, it's that nothing is set in stone; anything can happen, no matter how much you think it never could. So the idea that we will be that family again someday will always be in the back of my mind, but I can't just sit and waste my life away with waiting for that. I know that, in time, I will find someone else who I will love passionately and unconditionally for everything they are, and I am certain that she will find someone who loves her for everything she is now.

So, to my best friend:
You are strong. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are everything you want to be and more. The love you had for me saved me from myself many times, and for that, I owe you my life. You will always have a place in my heart, and I wish you only the best in everything you do, always and forever, no matter what.

"Twenty years have came and went since I walked out of your door. I never quite made it back to the one I was before. And, God, it hurts me to think of you, for the light in your eyes is gone. Sometimes I don't know why this old world can't leave well enough alone."

Just hear this and then I'll go.
You gave me more to live for,
more than you'll ever know.

The Weight of Her- Butch Walker

Here comes the captain,
she’s a fire-cracker, skinny jeans.
Two lips of honey,
yeah, she leaves a trail of gasoline.
She’ll drink more whiskey
than her daddy, she can even sing,
and all the clappers say,
“you're living in her world.”

The word around the streets:
she likes the smell of cocaine.
It makes her crazy
when she mix it up with champagne.

You'll never make it if you
don’t keep her locked in a cage.
You will be wishing
now for any other girl.

Don’t let the weight of her world bring you down.
Don’t let her walk into the room and turn you inside out.
Don’t let the touch of her hand take you down.
No, not now. No, not ever again.

Six forty five: As you wake up,
she's just gone to bed.
Clear out the phone from a hundred texts
you haven’t read.
She only wants you when it’s later
and she’s off her head.
Pay close attention,
you’re just living in her world.

And all the Swedish girls,
they hang out at the hotel.
It's sex for green cards;
I think they know you very well.

It paints a picture of a movie ending,
dark as hell.
You will be wishing
now for any other girl.

Don’t let the weight of her world bring you down.
Don’t let her walk into a room and turn you inside out.
Don’t let the touch of her hand take you down.
No, not now. No, not ever again.

Snow

The lines across the mirror

tell me of your lies.

And the marks around your eyelids

cannot be disguised.

But the truth is that I knew it,

I just didn't want to say.

'Cause the truth, I knew, would cause it

to end up ending this way.

And it's a pretty shitty ending

to our happy little song.

But just 'cause I'm pretending,

it doesn't mean I'm gone.

My heart still waits in silence

where you left it on the ground.

But if you set aside the violence,

you know I'll be around.

Because, the fact is, I'm not able

to let you go again.

Our story's just beginning

so this cannot be the end.

I know I was your let down,

the failing in your mind,

but if you let me, I will pick you up,

then maybe you will find

that in the midst of all this anger,

I only saw your smile.

And the only thing that stole it

was your own selfish denial.

But just because we're crying,

it doesn't mean we're weak

In fact, there's no denying,

we'll get back on our feet.

Just give into the silence,

then let it fall away.

And, baby, stop the violence

and I'll forever stay.

Just bury indiscretion,

let go of what you knew

surrender to my love,

because I live only for you.

Be Good Until Then- Butch Walker

Always know the road you're riding on.
Always know the words to your babys song.
Try to make the most of Friday nights when they come.
Maybe turn a stranger to a friend.
Never break a heart that's on the mend.
Never let the romance ever end like I've done.
Never judge a color of a skin.
Never judge a person by their kin.
Never follow leaders that begin behind some wall.
Always help your mom across the street.
Always wash your hands when you wanna eat,
but always keep them dirty enough to see where you came from.

And it's okay to cry if you feel it coming on,
it'll let you know you're human in the end.
All these things will mean more when I'm gone,
just be good until then.

Try to see the best inside the bad
no matter how many drinks you had.
Never make a promise you'll regret come sunrise.
Try to rarely ever oversleep.
Always keep your ego at your feet.
Maybe try to practice what you preach once in a while.

It's okay to cry if you feel it coming on,
it'll let you know you're human in the end.
All these things will mean more when I'm gone,
just be good until then.

Everybody loves a hero, but not so much when they fall short
so try to keep your cape on underneath.
You don't have to try so hard to be the best,
Just know you are
and that's all that'll matter to me.

And it's okay to cry if you feel it coming on,
it'll let you know you're human in the end.
All these things will mean more when I'm gone,
just be good until then.

Hopeless- Train

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
everything has changed around me.
I'd tell it to your face
but you lost your face along the way.
And I'd say it on the phone
if I thought you were alone,
why do things have to change?

But you don't need my pictures on your wall.
You say you need no one.
And you don't need my secret midnight call.
I guess you need no one.

Is anybody waiting at home for you?
'Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's
anybody waiting at home for you.
'Cause it's time that will tell this tale.

You're in and out, up and down,
wondering if you're lost or found,
but I got my hands on you.
Are you strong enough to tow the line?
Are you gonna make me yours
or do I make you mine?

I'm in and out,
I'm up and down,
wonder if I'm lost or found.
I need your hands on me now.

But you don't need my pictures on your wall.
You say you need no one.
And you don't need my secret midnight call.
I guess you need no one.

Is anybody waiting at home for you?
'Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's
anybody waiting at home for you.
'Cause it's time that will tell this tale.

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
everything has to change.

Surreal

It's like a bad dream. It is a nightmare I've always had but that I never thought I would ever see in real life.
It is like everything that we had been working towards suddenly fell down in one instant.
But as much as this whole situation is breaking my heart, I have to remember that this is not about me.
This is not about us.
This is about her.
I have to put aside all of my feelings for her, all of my desires, and all of my emotions, and focus on this. This is the only thing that matters right now.
I want to help her-so badly I want to help her-but at this point I doubt she would ever let me.
She feels like I betrayed her, when I felt like doing anything besides what I did would have been betraying her.
I want to be her friend.
I am just so afraid that I lost her again.
It all feels so surreal, but so realistic at the same time.
It is like a roller coaster of thoughts in my mind, and I don't know which way is up.
I can only hope that we get through this together, as we have gotten through everything else.
And I hope that she knows how much I have always loved her.

No matter what happens, just know that I'm not going anywhere. Something in me knows that I need you forever. So you work on the now, and I'll work on the forever.

Now we wait and try to find another mistake.
If you throw it all away
then maybe you could change your mind.
And maybe, someday, we'll figure all this out,
try to put an end to all our doubt,
try to find a way to make things better now.
Maybe, someday, we'll live our lives out loud.
We'll be better off somehow, someday.

She'll take you for a ride,
show you a whole new side of life.
She'll turn your world upside down, inside out.
But once you feel her,
you know that you could never let her go.

Heartbreak Warfare- John Mayer

Lightning strike
inside my chest to keep me up at night.
Dream of ways
to make you understand my pain.

Clouds of sulfur in the air,
bombs are falling everywhere.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Once you want it to begin,
no one really ever wins
in heartbreak warfare.

If you want more, love why don't you say so?

Drop her name,
push it in and twist the knife again.
Watch my face
as I pretend to feel no pain.

Clouds of sulfur in the air,
bombs falling every where.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Once you want it to begin,
no one really ever wins
in heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love, why don't you say so
If you wanted more love, why didn't you say so?
Just say so.

How come the only way you know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall?
God only knows how much I'd love you if you'd let me,
but I can't break through it all.

It's a heart... heartbreak

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight,
let's just fix this whole thing now.
I swear to God were gonna get it right
if you lay your weapon down.
Red wine and Ambien, you're talking shit again.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Good to know it's all a game.
Disappointment has a name;
it's heartbreak...

It's heartbreak warfare

My hopes are in the wrong place, I know that. I know that I should be wishing towards different, more obtainable things. But I also know in my heart what I want.
I know what I need to do, what all of my friends say I should do, but I just can't make myself do it. I have spent such a long time working towards what I hope to be the rest of my life. Maybe six months or eight months or even 12 months isn't a long time in the big scheme of things, but maybe I am not as good at playing the waiting game as I used to be. Once you've had a taste of something, it's hard to get that taste out of your mouth. You are just left wanting more. I'm sure by now everyone knows that I am no good with analogies, but that is the best I could come up with. I had a taste of what could be, and now I am wanting it more than ever. But more than ever, I am nervous that the taste will grow bitter with time.
I don't want to rush it, but I don't want to have to let it go either. The distance is killing me, but the closeness took its toll as well. I need to find a happy medium; there is no room for extremes when you are dealing with something so sensitive as this.

So, note to me:
Balance yourself; don't let your head kill your heart, but don't let your heart suffocate your head.
Find closure.
Hold on.
Give her the last thing she's ever asked of you; let go.
Trade control for hope and impatience for love.
It's all just a part of the game of Life.

Always Be- Jimmy Eat World

Could have been a night like any other.
One of us has to drive,
one of us gets to think.
I'll force a laugh to break the silence.
It's gonna get harder still
before it gets easy.
You can't keep safe what wants to break.

I'm alone in this,
I'm all as I've always been;
Right behind what's happening.
She's all lost in this,
she's all like she'll always be;
a little far for me to reach.

I was just a boy like every other.
I thought I was something fierce,
I thought I was ten times smarter
Love would be something that I just know.
How you gonna know the feeling till you've lost it?
I've been losing plenty since.

I'm alone in this,
I'm all as I've always been;
Right behind what's happening.
She's all lost in this,
she's all like she'll always be;
a little far for me to reach.

Maybe something else I'm missing,
something good and your the reason.
It's a dream, but there's a real world waiting.

I'm alone in this,
I'm all as I've always been;
Right behind what's happening.
She's all lost in this,
she's all like she'll always be;
a little far for me to reach.

Moderation Nation

Something is wrong. I know it. This is not who she is.

I can't sleep with the sound of the sounds
that rage inside of me.
The feelings of anger just seem so unfair.
And the practical thoughts that erase my heart
as I pick up the phone and head back to the start
of where you left me to die without a message of where we are.

I drive back to the place where you used to live
inside of me.
I just want you to stay here
in my heart for a while.
And the weakness I feel isn't all just a fake
and the tears that I cry didn't start on the face
of a child who lost a battle with the stars.

And I know that you take me for all that I'm worth
but a dirty heart's better off left in the dirt.
Take it and put it back where I belong.

We just wanna hurt
and act like we're better.
Thank everyone else
who has been where we are.
We both know it works,
we're better off as strangers.
So why can't we just let go away?
I'll let it go today.

I fall back to the place where you used to lay
beside me.
The scars on my heart didn't need to end up here.
But I stare at your picture I left on the wall
as the memories of you still race through the hall
and I remember the time we used to have it all
Now it's all gone

and we just wanna hurt
and act like we're better.
Thank everyone else
who has been where we are.
We both know it works,
we're better off as strangers.
So why can't we just let go away?
I'll let it go today.

There's never been a happy ending.
Hearts, they break and lies keep sending
broken lives into the great unknown
I just wanna know

why we just wanna hurt
and act like we're better.
Blame everyone else
who told us where we are.
We both know it hurts,
but we'll never be just strangers.
So I can't sit and let you walk away,
I'll let go today.
Let it all just go away.
So I can love you every day.
And we'll both just float away.
I love you every day.

Rewind

I can't lie to you, we both know this. So what am I supposed to say when you ask me what's wrong? Would you rather me lie to you and tell you I'm fine, only to have you upset at the fact that you know that I'm lying, or would you rather me tell you what I am upset about? This is something that you need to figure out, because not feeling anything is not an option for me.
As I said, I feel the same way about you now that I did for the six months that you were with her. So just treat my emotions the same way you did then; with no regard. And I don't mean that rudely, just truthfully.
I know we aren't together (believe me, you make it incredibly clear sometimes), but that doesn't mean that I don't have any emotion towards you. I have loved you for a very long time, and that isn't something that is easy to suppress. It's just hard for me to see how you can tell me that I can't show you those emotions right now when you let me open myself up to you again so quickly. When something upsets me, you are always the first person that I want to go to; you're the one who cares the most and who fixes all of the hurting. But I realized last night that you can't be that person for me, at least not when I'm upset about things involving you. We need to slow down, and the biggest step that I can take towards that is to leave my emotions out of the situation. This time is about you now.
Maybe I am guilty for expecting too much, just as I am guilty for a lot of things in regards to us. Maybe I went back into this with no regard for how much it could hurt or how fragile the situation really is. Maybe I just pushed too hard. You may not believe it, but it is really not my intention to pressure you into anything. Yes, I love you and yes, I do want to be with you, but most importantly, I want that to be what you want. I think that you mistake my feelings of love for pressure. I know you aren't ready to commit to me right now, and I am okay with that. But when you talk about our future together, as you say you inevitably see it, I can't help but get my hopes up. And then something happens like last night, and I am reminded of how far away you still really are. It is like a slap in the face when something that I have longed for for so long is right there, but I can't touch it. So I react emotionally.
I know you don't see it, but you are very hot and cold. One minute you are telling me how much you love "our relationship" and the next you are telling me that I have "no right to show you my emotions because we aren't together yet." You have to understand that this hurts me. Every time you verbalize the fact that we aren't together, my heart breaks. And I know that I can't let you see that, so I try so hard to contain it that it just builds up and that sadness comes out in different areas (last night for example). Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I am not in love with you. I am not made of stone, so I cannot be emotionless, and you can't expect that from me. I don't want to be emotionless anymore.
For all intents and purposes, you have my entire future in your hands. I want you forever, I know that, but I am terrified of the day when you wake up and realize that you don't want me back. This idea is what makes me want to hold on tighter, but it also makes me want to let go because I know that me holding on only pushes you away. This is where I am conflicted.
There are two sides to every story, and I know that we both have difficulties seeing the others' points on certain issues, so I am going to try my hardest to see your side from now on.
I can't pretend that I know what to do in this situation, because if I did then neither one of us would be where we are. The only thing I can think of is to let you go. I know that you need independence and you need time to be single, so I am going to give you that. I will go back to the way I was a month ago, before I had hope. From this point on, what happens, happens. I will not push, I will not pressure.
I want to make this work, but I am not sure of what you need from me. So, until you tell me otherwise, I am going to go backwards. I am going to rewind back to the times where I mastered subtlety and patience. I'm going to go back to the time where I didn't know that you cared. I never thought I would say this, but it was easier for me then. I let myself fall for you too quickly, and I know that I need to stop it.

So when you are ready, I will be here.

Until then, you have my love.

Beautiful Mess- Jason Mraz

You’ve got the best of both worlds;
you’re the kind of girl who can take down a man
and lift him back up again.
You are strong but you’re needy,
humble but you’re greedy.
And based on your body language
and shotty cursive I’ve been reading,
you’re style is quite selective
though your mind is rather reckless.
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is.

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
‘Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased, I love your advice.
Your comebacks they’re quick
and probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these words
they're paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging.

And it’s a beautiful mess, yes it is.
It’s like we're picking up trash in dresses.

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
kind of turn themselves into blades.
And the kind and courteous is a life I’ve heard,
but it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt.
Cause here, here we are.
Here we are.
We're still here.

And what a beautiful mess this is.
It’s like taking a guess
when the only answer is "yes."

And through timeless words in priceless pictures,
we’ll fly like birds not of this earth.
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure,
but that’s no concern when we’re wounded together.
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts,
but it’s nice today.
Oh, the wait was so worth it.

Everything that I have wished for for so long is finally starting to come true, but I can't help but feel as though I am pushing it away. It's kind of like that experience where you try so hard not to lose something and you put it in a place where you know you wont forget about it, but then when you search for it, you don't know where it is? Okay, well...it's not exacly like that, but it's similar. I am trying so hard not to lose her again that she is actually getting more lost. It seems like the harder I hold on, the more she slips away. I don't want to pressure her and I don't want to hurt her, but I can't seem to help it. My heart tells me that I can wait forever, but my mind says that we need to go back to the place we were a year ago. And my heart tells me that going back to that place would be easy, but my mind tells me that it is going to take a lot of work. It is a constant internal battle. I just need to figure out what to do while she figures out what she's doing.


Our love is strong yet delicate. We will make it.

Love is...

One Last Chance

This is a story that I came across in the New York Times. It touched me very deeply, for many reasons. I just thought that I would share. So break out the tissues:

-------------------

One morning not long ago, as I was dropping off my son at preschool, his teacher beckoned me over for a private chat. A flutter passed through me. What had happened? Had Judah been over-tickling other children again? Throwing graham crackers?

Turning to me with a sober cast, John laid it out: “Our classroom fish died yesterday. I don’t think it’s a good idea to ignore it, so I plan to bring it up in our class meeting today. I thought you, of all people, should know.”

His concern wasn’t Swimmy, wonderful as he was. John knew death was a tender topic for Judah. A year earlier, Judah’s father had gone to the doctor for what he thought was sciatica but turned out to be cancer that had metastasized to his bones. He was 51 at the time; Judah was 2.

But that’s only part of the story. Until the time of the diagnosis, Judah and his father hadn’t seen much of each other. Sometime between Judah’s conception and delivery, his father decided that he couldn’t be married anymore, not to me, he said, and probably not to anyone.

In Texas, where we were living, it turned out to be illegal to divorce your wife while she was pregnant. So although he filed for divorce during my seventh month, we were still legally married on the day Judah was born, which also happened to be the day before our 10th wedding anniversary.

He was there for the birth and dropped in on us for visits, but a few months later I moved back to New York City, where my family lived. I felt like someone who had survived a tornado: miraculously, I was able to leave the destruction behind me. Judah, knowing nothing of his chaotic origins, was a sweet and placid baby. I loved wheeling him up and down the streets where I’d grown up.

Two years later, Judah’s father remained in Texas and I was still in New York. After finding out about the cancer, though, he called me. I hadn’t heard his voice in a while, and it sounded strained. I expressed sympathy about his illness, but that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about.

“I need to ask you something,” he said. “You are totally within your rights to say no, but I hope you’ll at least listen to me. I had always planned to have a relationship with Judah when he was a little older, but now I don’t know if that can happen. I want to start seeing him more, as much as I can, right away. I don’t have money for New York hotels, so I’d like to stay with you or your mother when I’m in town. During chemo I might not be able to travel, but I’d like to talk to Judah on the phone every night. And maybe have you bring him to visit me.”

In some ways, this was what I’d longed to hear since Judah’s birth. Though I knew we would never be a family, I still hoped that eventually Judah would have a relationship with his dad. And it wasn’t just for Judah. I had never anticipated single motherhood and longed to share the travails of preschool and potty training with my son’s father. Maybe now Judah and his father could have a relationship and I could have a partner in parenthood. And if his treatment was successful, father and son could have a future together. Whereas if I said no, the door might close for good.

That was my first thought. I also had to consider that the worst might come to pass, in which case I would have exposed Judah to significant and avoidable pain. Right now, he didn’t know his father; any loss would be abstract rather than personal. But what if he came to love his father, only to lose him? This had the makings of either a miracle or a tragedy; it was hard to predict which.

I queried friends, relations, professionals: What would you do? The responses were mixed. A friend said, “How could you let him back after what he did? He doesn’t deserve to know his son.” My mother said, “How can you refuse what might turn out to be a last wish?” And my therapist just said, “You’ll know the right thing to do.”

I found myself thinking about what I would say to an older Judah, long after his father had died. That Judah would have a lot of questions about a man and a relationship he couldn’t fully remember. If the day came, I knew I would want to have stories to tell of the two of them and pictures to show. I suspected that the grown-up Judah, if given the choice, would want to have known all he could of his father.

Deep down, I also wanted to give Judah’s father, who was for many years my loving and beloved husband, the consolation he now needed. I shelved my indignation about the way he had opted out of Judah’s life. Though he had left me in the lurch when I was at my most vulnerable, even then I had felt more pity than anger. He walked away empty-handed, while I had Judah.

I said yes. And so their meetings began.

He would fly east and stay with my mother for three or four days. The chemotherapy was immunosuppressive, so he and Judah mostly stayed in the apartment, doing 2-year-old stuff: singing, snacking, tickling. Two sandy-haired, stocky, brown-eyed guys, rolling around on the floor.

He called me from the airport after the first visit and said: “He is the most incredible child that has ever lived. Do you realize that?” I said I did. I hung up feeling as if I’d been handed a gift. For the first time I felt he was speaking to me unequivocally as Judah’s father and that we were joined in our love of our amazing son.

Initially Judah wasn’t sure who this guy was. He started out calling him by his first name, but upon request he willingly made the switch to “Daddy.” Eventually he took delight in the word and would spring to the phone, yelling “Hi, Daddy!” into the receiver.

Over the next few months, we watched as “Daddy” lost his hair and grew weaker. He was taking large doses of morphine but still frequently winced in pain. Judah was solicitous, managing to curb the bouncier expressions of his personality when around his father. Once I heard him ask, “Daddy, are you sick?” and heard the reply, “I’m fine. And I’m going to get better.” I squirmed. I knew it was what he needed to say, but I wasn’t sure it was what Judah needed to hear.

Ten months after the diagnosis, the hospital called, telling me that it didn’t look good. I sat down with Judah. “Sweetheart, Daddy’s very sick and I’m afraid he might die.” Distress filled his eyes. “I don’t want Daddy to die. I want to see him.” “I don’t want him to die, either. I’m going to go to the hospital now and I’ll tell him what you said.”

He was in a coma when I arrived, but I held his hand and did tell him what Judah had said. I sat there and talked to him as Judah’s fellow parent, about plans for our son’s future, though I knew he probably couldn’t hear me and certainly couldn’t answer.

He died two days later. Judah was angry and sad at the news, but mostly uncomprehending. He kept asking when Daddy would stop dying and come back to us. And it was my miserable task to tell him “never” and witness his disappointment. I felt as if his grief was my fault. And in a way it was. I had opened the door.

Now 3, Judah still doesn’t believe in forever and keeps trying to find a work-around for death. “Maybe Daddy is at that hotel where I saw him once? Maybe he’s in California?” He’s frustrated that he can’t see his father, though one night when he was lying in bed I told him he could talk to him whenever he likes. He was quiet for a moment and then called upward, “Daddy, how are you? Is it dark where you are?”

Judah’s memories of his father may fade, but for now he enjoys them. Every time he passes a McDonald’s he says, “I went there with my daddy, right?” Or when he plays with a favorite toy: “My daddy gave that to me, right?” He has his paternal memories to cherish and I have my co-parental ones. Neither of us would have wanted to forgo them.

When Judah isn’t trying to knock down the daddy problem, he often talks philosophy. He says casually to a friend of my mother’s, “You know, we’re all going to die.” He wants to know the feasibility of the two of us dying together. “I’m going to come see you when I die,” he tells me. A budding scientist, he asks about what people’s faces look like when they die and where they go. I say I don’t really know.

I assure him that he and I won’t die for a very long time. Once, he heard me on the phone to a girlfriend exclaiming, “I could have died then and there!” and he went white. “Mommy, don’t say that,” he shrieked. “Don’t say that!”


I wondered how Judah would react when he heard about Swimmy’s death and asked John to let me know. A few hours later he reported that when he told the children what had happened, one volunteered that her grandmother had died. Another said he had a fish that died, a very old fish. The class agreed that Swimmy had been an old fish, too. And Judah said, “My daddy died.”

Later, another child approached Judah and asked in a worried voice, “Your daddy died?” Judah nodded. “Does that mean he’s not coming back?” Judah put his hand on the other child’s shoulder. “Yes, but it’s O.K.,” he said. “I’m alive. You’re alive. Want to play?”

Truth

Looking straight into sad eyes
I catch a glimpse of the inner being.
Gentle and compassionate, yes,
but also obdurate, disillusioned; a hardened sinner.
Desperate details of characterization,
ones I wish I had never seen, or that did not exist.
When did they appear?

The one I once knew would never hurt another,
especially a lover.
The moral fiber, once a parody of popular choices,
is now broken and torn.
The shy, good-humored, often clumsy heart
is now careless and profane; adulterated.
How can someone chance so much?
What is there for this broken heart to give now?

With pure and unconditional love no longer a truthful option,
how can it be shown that this heart does indeed care?
Can it ever be forgiven?

Apologies bare little in regards to pain.
A portrait of incongruity; good and bad,
right and wrong, love and selfishness.

I want only for a change of character.
I do not want to open my eyes
and see the same face anymore.

And where is this blemished soul but always
standing in front of me?
For a mirror can sometimes offer far too much
truth.

Holding you, touching you.
Feeling you, stealing you.

Wanting you, wishing you.
Knowing you, showing you.

Hugging you, kissing you
here I am missing you.

Walk Away

Lost sometimes, looking for a hand to hold.
Scared sometimes in this world that's dark and cold.
Missing her is all that I feel
because loving her was all that was real.

A simple choice, a life gone astray.
How could I let her just walk away?
My heart is still hers, even if she wont take it.
My heart is still hers, she can take it and break it.

I lost my love, my only one
and the things I did can't be undone.
Just one more chance is all I need
to show her what she means to me.

But I didn't know what to do or say
so instead I let her just walk away.

I know, I know, I know- T&S

Back from the last place that I wanted to fake you.
Laugh with me, shout, scream.
Now tell me you're staying.
I know, I know, I know,
you're still my love.
The same as I love you,
you'll always love me too.
This love isn't good unless it's me and you.

Box after box and you're still by my side.
The weather is changing and breaking my stride.
I know, I know, I know,
it's just this day.
House after house
just like car after car,
you see club after club and it all seems so far.

I know, I know, I know.
What else are we here for?
The same as I love you, you'll always love me too.
This love isn't good unless it's me and you.

Stick your hands inside of my pockets.
Keep them warm while I'm still here.
Tell them this love hasn't changed me,
hasn't changed me at all.

Last night I was writing about you.
I know my screaming and shouting won't keep you.
I know, I know, I know, you're still my love.


I know, I know, I know.
Be still my love.
The same as I love you, you'll always love me too
This love isn't good unless it's me and you.

Stick your hands inside of my pockets.
Keep them warm while I'm still here.
Tell them this love hasn't changed me,
hasn't changed me at all.
Stick your heart inside of my chest,
keep it warm here while we rest.
Tell them this love hasn't changed me,
hasn't changed me at all.
The same as I love you, I'll always love you.
This love isn't good unless it's me and you.

Transcending Duality

The sun is shining bright,
It knows no day or night,
Earth rises to a new born day,
With fleeting illusions to display.

Turmoil between day and night,
Displayed in black and white,
Rising from a world of duality,
Transcending to a timeless Reality.

Bitter sweet altercations in time,
Are transcended by my thoughts in rhyme,
With fate love lost and tender,
I come with complete surrender.

George Rapanos
July 2004