I turn my head;
I can’t shake the look you gave.
And I’m good as dead
because those eyes are all it takes,
and all I want is you.
So I pull away;
all I do is sit and wait.
And I might as well write the words right on my face
that all I want is you
Because I’ve kept my heart under control
but lately, all this time has taken its toll.
I tried to but I can’t hold back what’s deep in my soul,
so darling please forgive me,
I want you, and you’ll just have to know.
And all my fears creep and crawl across my skin
and these four walls are after me and moving in.
And all that I want to do
is give up, give in, let this one stay where it is,
but I don’t suppose I will.
One of these days I’m gonna find myself a way.
I’ll find the courage and I’ll find the grace,
and I’m gonna know just what to say.
And you’ll walk on up when you want this love,
when you’ve had enough and you’ve given up.
Because I’ve kept my heart under control
oh, but lately, all this time has taken its toll.
I tried to but I can’t hold back what’s deep in my soul
so darling, please forgive me,
I want you,
and you’ll just have to know.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I'd Rather Be With You- Joshua Radin
Sitting here on this lonely dock,
watching the rain play on the ocean top.
All the things I feel I need to say,
I can’t explain in any other way
I need to be bold,
need to jump in the cold water,
need to grow older with a girl like you.
Finally see you were naturally
the one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth
Yeah, I’d rather be with you.
Say you want the same thing too.
Now here’s the sun, come to dry the rain.
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain.
You’re the one thing that I’m missing here.
With you beside me, I no longer fear.
I need to be bold,
need to jump in the cold water,
need to grow older with a girl like you.
Finally see you were naturally
the one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth.
Yeah, I’d rather be with you.
Say you want the same thing too.
I could have saved so much time for us
had I seen the way to get to where I am today.
You waited for me for so long,
so now listen to me say.
I need to be bold,
need to jump in the cold water,
need to grow older with a girl like you.
Finally, I see you were naturally
the one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth.
Yeah, I’d rather be with you.
Say you want the same thing too,
say you feel the way I do.
watching the rain play on the ocean top.
All the things I feel I need to say,
I can’t explain in any other way
I need to be bold,
need to jump in the cold water,
need to grow older with a girl like you.
Finally see you were naturally
the one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth
Yeah, I’d rather be with you.
Say you want the same thing too.
Now here’s the sun, come to dry the rain.
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain.
You’re the one thing that I’m missing here.
With you beside me, I no longer fear.
I need to be bold,
need to jump in the cold water,
need to grow older with a girl like you.
Finally see you were naturally
the one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth.
Yeah, I’d rather be with you.
Say you want the same thing too.
I could have saved so much time for us
had I seen the way to get to where I am today.
You waited for me for so long,
so now listen to me say.
I need to be bold,
need to jump in the cold water,
need to grow older with a girl like you.
Finally, I see you were naturally
the one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth.
Yeah, I’d rather be with you.
Say you want the same thing too,
say you feel the way I do.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Beauty Is...
So...Kendra had to do a project for her art class. Her topic: "Beauty is..."
She asked me for ideas and I, of course, was barely any help considering I have maybe one creative bone in my entire body. But her and her friends sat there for a while, along with me and Wesley, an she told me that she knew what she was going to do. She asked if pictures were considered art, and I told her that if she could justify it as being artistic than it was art. She had her idea.
So she worked for a week on her project, and then she brought it home for me to critique. It was all that I could do to keep myself from crying.
Her project, titled Beauty is... was a pair of black and white photographs. They were pictures from Wesley's second birthday party, with me and Kristen in them.
I may be sappy and overemotional, but it speaks volumes to me that Kendra, as cynical, biased, and overprotective of me as she is, sees beauty in my family, even when that family has, for lack of a less hurtful term, fallen apart. She sees the beauty in our love for each other and our unconditional love for our child, regardless of what we go through together.
Here's to beauty, and here's to love.
She asked me for ideas and I, of course, was barely any help considering I have maybe one creative bone in my entire body. But her and her friends sat there for a while, along with me and Wesley, an she told me that she knew what she was going to do. She asked if pictures were considered art, and I told her that if she could justify it as being artistic than it was art. She had her idea.
So she worked for a week on her project, and then she brought it home for me to critique. It was all that I could do to keep myself from crying.
Her project, titled Beauty is... was a pair of black and white photographs. They were pictures from Wesley's second birthday party, with me and Kristen in them.
I may be sappy and overemotional, but it speaks volumes to me that Kendra, as cynical, biased, and overprotective of me as she is, sees beauty in my family, even when that family has, for lack of a less hurtful term, fallen apart. She sees the beauty in our love for each other and our unconditional love for our child, regardless of what we go through together.
Here's to beauty, and here's to love.
Stupid Boy- Keith Urban
Well she was precious, like a flower.
She grew wild, wild but innocent.
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour,
she was everything, beautiful, and different.
Stupid boy, you can't fence that in.
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind.
She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only
voice she hears is telling her she can't.
Stupid boy.
So what made you think you could take her life
and just push it, push it around?
I guess to build yourself up so high
you had to take her and break her down.
She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and crushed her plans.
She never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only
voice she hears is telling her she can't,
you stupid boy.
Oh, you always had to be right
and now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive.
It took a while for her to figure out she could run
but when she did, she was long gone.
Oh she's gone.
She's long gone.
Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me
and god, how she loved me.
Please just let her know that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm down on my knees
but she's never coming back to me.
I'm a stupid boy.
She grew wild, wild but innocent.
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour,
she was everything, beautiful, and different.
Stupid boy, you can't fence that in.
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind.
She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only
voice she hears is telling her she can't.
Stupid boy.
So what made you think you could take her life
and just push it, push it around?
I guess to build yourself up so high
you had to take her and break her down.
She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and crushed her plans.
She never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only
voice she hears is telling her she can't,
you stupid boy.
Oh, you always had to be right
and now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive.
It took a while for her to figure out she could run
but when she did, she was long gone.
Oh she's gone.
She's long gone.
Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me
and god, how she loved me.
Please just let her know that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm down on my knees
but she's never coming back to me.
I'm a stupid boy.
You Get Used to Somebody- Tim McGraw
I thought I felt you touch my cheek this morning,
but I must have been dreaming.
And in the middle of the night without a warning
I thought I heard you breathing.
Me and my so-called independence
have got this loneliness that's so relentless.
I guess you get used to somebody
kinda like having them around.
I guess you get used to the way they make you happy,
bring you up when you're feeling down.
I never dreamed when I was letting you go that
I would wake up and miss you this much.
I guess you get used to somebody.
I guess you get used to being loved.
I kinda miss those rambling conversations
where we'd talk about nothing.
The way you always made me laugh at my frustrations,
baby, that was something.
I should have been careful what I wished for
because I've got my freedom and so much more.
I never dreamed when I was letting you go that
I would wake up and miss you this much.
I guess you get used to somebody.
I guess you get used to being loved.
but I must have been dreaming.
And in the middle of the night without a warning
I thought I heard you breathing.
Me and my so-called independence
have got this loneliness that's so relentless.
I guess you get used to somebody
kinda like having them around.
I guess you get used to the way they make you happy,
bring you up when you're feeling down.
I never dreamed when I was letting you go that
I would wake up and miss you this much.
I guess you get used to somebody.
I guess you get used to being loved.
I kinda miss those rambling conversations
where we'd talk about nothing.
The way you always made me laugh at my frustrations,
baby, that was something.
I should have been careful what I wished for
because I've got my freedom and so much more.
I never dreamed when I was letting you go that
I would wake up and miss you this much.
I guess you get used to somebody.
I guess you get used to being loved.
Please Remember Me- Tim McGraw
When all our tears have reached the sea,
part of you will live in me,
way down deep inside my heart.
The days keep coming without fail.
A new wind is gonna find your sail
and that's where your journey starts.
You'll find better love,
strong as it ever was,
deep as the river runs,
warm as the morning sun.
Please remember me.
Just like the waves down by the shore,
we're gonna keep on coming back for more
because we don't ever want to stop.
Out in this brave new world you seek
the valleys and the peaks,
and I can see you on the top.
You'll find better love,
strong as it ever was,
deep as the river runs,
warm as the morning sun.
Please remember me.
Remember me when you're out walking,
when snow falls high outside your door.
late at night when you're not sleeping
and moonlight falls across your floor.
When I can't hurt you anymore.
You'll find better love,
strong as it ever was,
deep as the river runs,
warm as the morning sun.
Please remember me.
part of you will live in me,
way down deep inside my heart.
The days keep coming without fail.
A new wind is gonna find your sail
and that's where your journey starts.
You'll find better love,
strong as it ever was,
deep as the river runs,
warm as the morning sun.
Please remember me.
Just like the waves down by the shore,
we're gonna keep on coming back for more
because we don't ever want to stop.
Out in this brave new world you seek
the valleys and the peaks,
and I can see you on the top.
You'll find better love,
strong as it ever was,
deep as the river runs,
warm as the morning sun.
Please remember me.
Remember me when you're out walking,
when snow falls high outside your door.
late at night when you're not sleeping
and moonlight falls across your floor.
When I can't hurt you anymore.
You'll find better love,
strong as it ever was,
deep as the river runs,
warm as the morning sun.
Please remember me.
Someday- Rob Thomas
You can go,
you can start all over again,
you can try to find a way to make another day go by.
You can hide,
hold all your feelings inside,
you can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry.
And maybe, someday, we’ll figure all this out,
try to put an end to all our doubt,
try to find a way to make things better now.
Maybe, someday, we’ll live our lives out loud.
We’ll be better off somehow, someday.
Now we wait
and try to find another mistake.
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind.
You can run
and when everything is over and done
you can shine a little light on everything around you,
man, it’s good to be someone.
I don’t want to wait,
I just want to know.
I just want to hear you tell me so.
Give it to me straight,
tell it to me slow.
Because maybe, someday, we’ll figure all this out,
we’ll put an end to all our doubt,
try to find a way to just to feel better now.
Maybe, someday, we’ll live our lives out loud.
We’ll be better off somehow, someday.
Sometimes we don’t really notice
just how good it can get.
So maybe we should start all over,
start all over again.
Because sometimes we don’t really notice
just how good it can get.
you can start all over again,
you can try to find a way to make another day go by.
You can hide,
hold all your feelings inside,
you can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry.
And maybe, someday, we’ll figure all this out,
try to put an end to all our doubt,
try to find a way to make things better now.
Maybe, someday, we’ll live our lives out loud.
We’ll be better off somehow, someday.
Now we wait
and try to find another mistake.
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind.
You can run
and when everything is over and done
you can shine a little light on everything around you,
man, it’s good to be someone.
I don’t want to wait,
I just want to know.
I just want to hear you tell me so.
Give it to me straight,
tell it to me slow.
Because maybe, someday, we’ll figure all this out,
we’ll put an end to all our doubt,
try to find a way to just to feel better now.
Maybe, someday, we’ll live our lives out loud.
We’ll be better off somehow, someday.
Sometimes we don’t really notice
just how good it can get.
So maybe we should start all over,
start all over again.
Because sometimes we don’t really notice
just how good it can get.
Graveyard Love Song
Love blocks my mind.
The memories of you are all too explicit
even for this rhyme;
a rhyme of undying love.
The headstone would have read as follows:
Here lies everything that beauty once was.
Here rests every beautiful thing that could have been.
If our love had died, we could put it to rest
but it is still living in my mind
and it will forever rest here.
For every beautiful thing that you were
and for every blind eye that I ever turned
that even the darkest soil cannot cover.
If our love had died, we could bury it with the rest of our past.
But it is still here
I still carry it on my back
and in my mind.
You can always hold onto me
because here rests my heart.
It is here if you ever want it back again.
It is only rightfully yours.
We never talk about the dead.
Why should we,
when there is no bringing life back?
But there is no headstone here,
only broken Earth
concealing a broken heart.
Even the dead are never forgotten;
a legacy is left in the living's wake.
But the living are not alive
until they have experienced the other side.
And here lies our love
in the broken mess of life.
Someday, we can have it all back
because I will never to let it die.
And someday, I will learn to be alive.
The memories of you are all too explicit
even for this rhyme;
a rhyme of undying love.
The headstone would have read as follows:
Here lies everything that beauty once was.
Here rests every beautiful thing that could have been.
If our love had died, we could put it to rest
but it is still living in my mind
and it will forever rest here.
For every beautiful thing that you were
and for every blind eye that I ever turned
that even the darkest soil cannot cover.
If our love had died, we could bury it with the rest of our past.
But it is still here
I still carry it on my back
and in my mind.
You can always hold onto me
because here rests my heart.
It is here if you ever want it back again.
It is only rightfully yours.
We never talk about the dead.
Why should we,
when there is no bringing life back?
But there is no headstone here,
only broken Earth
concealing a broken heart.
Even the dead are never forgotten;
a legacy is left in the living's wake.
But the living are not alive
until they have experienced the other side.
And here lies our love
in the broken mess of life.
Someday, we can have it all back
because I will never to let it die.
And someday, I will learn to be alive.
Frustration
I know that I have hurt a lot of people in a lot of different ways. I hate how I have pushed away the people that I care about the most with my selfish feelings of anger. But I am changing my attitudes and trying to get better, because I cannot stand to lose another person that I love ever again. I am bettering myself and learning how to love people the right way.
With all of her negativity, I feel like she is just holding me back from getting over things. Yes, she is a great friend sometimes, and I am thankful for that. But when she gets mean and bitchy and malicious, I feel myself getting angry and mean right along with her, and I don't want to feel like that anymore. It is not okay to be malicious. It is not okay to hurt the people that you love on purpose, no matter how much you are hurting or how angry you are at them.
She is there for me when I need to talk, and I know that she cares about me, but until she stops with the maliciousness and the vindictiveness, I can't have her in my life. I am sorry, but there are more important things in life than being angry. I hope that you realize that soon before it destroys you.
With all of her negativity, I feel like she is just holding me back from getting over things. Yes, she is a great friend sometimes, and I am thankful for that. But when she gets mean and bitchy and malicious, I feel myself getting angry and mean right along with her, and I don't want to feel like that anymore. It is not okay to be malicious. It is not okay to hurt the people that you love on purpose, no matter how much you are hurting or how angry you are at them.
She is there for me when I need to talk, and I know that she cares about me, but until she stops with the maliciousness and the vindictiveness, I can't have her in my life. I am sorry, but there are more important things in life than being angry. I hope that you realize that soon before it destroys you.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Fear You Wont Fall- Joshua Radin
Digging a hole, and the walls are caving in
behind me, air is getting thin.
But I'm trying,
I'm breathing in.
Come find me
It hasn't felt like this before.
It hasn't felt like home
before you.
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way.
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could.
I can't get my mind off of you.
I know that you're scared that
I'll soon be over it,
but that's part of it all.
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you,
is the fear you wont fall.
It hasn't felt like this before.
It hasn't felt like home
before you.
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way.
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could.
I can't get my mind off of you.
And I hate the phone, but I wish you would call.
I thought that being alone was better than...
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way.
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could.
I can't get my mind off of you.
I can't get my mind off of you.
behind me, air is getting thin.
But I'm trying,
I'm breathing in.
Come find me
It hasn't felt like this before.
It hasn't felt like home
before you.
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way.
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could.
I can't get my mind off of you.
I know that you're scared that
I'll soon be over it,
but that's part of it all.
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you,
is the fear you wont fall.
It hasn't felt like this before.
It hasn't felt like home
before you.
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way.
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could.
I can't get my mind off of you.
And I hate the phone, but I wish you would call.
I thought that being alone was better than...
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way.
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could.
I can't get my mind off of you.
I can't get my mind off of you.
Kind of Perfect- Kacy Crowley
Why don’t you talk about it?
I know there’s something on your mind.
Well you go on and get a cigarette,
I’ll be waiting outside.
The last few months have been much harder
than we ever thought they’d be.
I know you hate it when I say I'm sorry,
but I'm sorry.
There was never a point in our love
that I didn’t love you.
I always did, I always will, I always do, love you still.
I always would, how could I not?
Well sometimes I get all wrapped up
because I don’t know who to be.
But you know when to be my security blanket,
and when to uncover me.
So let's just sit out on the back porch
and unravel everything.
Someday these will be our old days,
let’s make them worth remembering.
There was never a point in our love,
that I didn’t love you...
I always did, I always will, I always do, love you still.
I never planned on loving somebody so much
I always did, I always will, I always do, love you still.
I always would, how could I not?
Just look at us baby,
we’re kind of perfect.
I know there’s something on your mind.
Well you go on and get a cigarette,
I’ll be waiting outside.
The last few months have been much harder
than we ever thought they’d be.
I know you hate it when I say I'm sorry,
but I'm sorry.
There was never a point in our love
that I didn’t love you.
I always did, I always will, I always do, love you still.
I always would, how could I not?
Well sometimes I get all wrapped up
because I don’t know who to be.
But you know when to be my security blanket,
and when to uncover me.
So let's just sit out on the back porch
and unravel everything.
Someday these will be our old days,
let’s make them worth remembering.
There was never a point in our love,
that I didn’t love you...
I always did, I always will, I always do, love you still.
I never planned on loving somebody so much
I always did, I always will, I always do, love you still.
I always would, how could I not?
Just look at us baby,
we’re kind of perfect.
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
to say that, for destruction, ice
is also great
and would suffice.
~Fire and Ice- Robert Frost
After reading this poem over and over, trying to understand it's meaning and in effect seeing it's intense relation to my own feelings, I have developed a rather complex opinion of it. It may be completely off base with what Frost's intentions were, but great poetry is all in how you interpret it, right? So here goes:
I think that Frost's intentions for this poem were to develop and warn against the deadly potential of human emotion. Frost illustrates this theme of destructive emotion by manipulating the title (Fire and Ice) into individual metaphorical symbols. He makes the reader consider the intensely destructive powers of fire and ice, initially, and then relate this power to desire, hatred, passion, and love. Frost uses ice to represent coldness of the heart and to warn that a lack of love and passion will lead to demise. Opposite that, he uses fire to portray the warning about the equally ruinous potential of unbridled emotion and passionate love. Prevention of destruction is all about balance. The more you think about it the poem, the richer it's meaning becomes, but the less tangible it seems. Frost is quite obviously not describing the end of the physical world, but rather an individual destruction due to emotion.
We all know that Frost is known for his symbolic use of nature and natural elements, but this particular poem takes on a different approach to symbolic representation than most of his other poems. In "Fire and Ice" Frost engages the reader with his ironic use of nature in the metaphor, rather than with the innate attention to descriptive detail found in his other works. Reflecting on the power of nature allows the reader to consider the potentially devastating capability of the human psyche to destroy itself. Frost intends for the reader, upon reflection, to realize that neither fire nor ice are intrinsically negative but that both are, in fact, necessary to life. It is only when the fire is uncontrolled that it grows and consumes all that is around it. If passion gets out of hand, it is, without a doubt, personally destructive. On the other hand, thought, you must not be so cold that you destroy yourself in ice. To let your heart die with hatred is just as bad, if not worse, than killing yourself with passion. You must balance out the hot and the cold, because life really is a love and hate kind of thing.
Friday, September 25, 2009
What Do You Know About Love?- Damien Rice
What do you know about love?
Starts with a smile,
moves oceans,
lasts for awhile.
She turns a corner
and you lose your mind
And you think 'how unkind, how unkind'.
What do you know about love?
What's written in your book?
The smallest distraction
and you have to look.
She's in your water,
and you're in your head
somewhere else.
What do you know about love?
Except that you kill it
the deeper you cut it
and the more it will spill.
You flood her with water
when she shows her flame
and you expect her to get up
and feel the same?
What do you know about love?
Starts with a smile,
moves over mountains,
falls like a child,
cries like a baby
at the sight of its blood.
But if only we understood
What do you know about love?
What do you know about love?
What's written in your book?
When she adores you
it's you that gets stuck.
It's not the attraction
and the beauty is no blame,
it's the dealing with your shame.
What do you know about love?
Except that you kill
and you beg for forgiveness?
For the freeness of your will
you've broken the alter
where her body is lain.
And you question
wherefore comes this pain?
What do you know about love
except that you don't?
The heavens have opened,
and you say they won't.
So you rip out your heart
and you put it to freeze.
And she seems happier without me.
So what do you know about love?
Starts with a smile,
moves oceans,
lasts for awhile.
She turns a corner
and you lose your mind
And you think 'how unkind, how unkind'.
What do you know about love?
What's written in your book?
The smallest distraction
and you have to look.
She's in your water,
and you're in your head
somewhere else.
What do you know about love?
Except that you kill it
the deeper you cut it
and the more it will spill.
You flood her with water
when she shows her flame
and you expect her to get up
and feel the same?
What do you know about love?
Starts with a smile,
moves over mountains,
falls like a child,
cries like a baby
at the sight of its blood.
But if only we understood
What do you know about love?
What do you know about love?
What's written in your book?
When she adores you
it's you that gets stuck.
It's not the attraction
and the beauty is no blame,
it's the dealing with your shame.
What do you know about love?
Except that you kill
and you beg for forgiveness?
For the freeness of your will
you've broken the alter
where her body is lain.
And you question
wherefore comes this pain?
What do you know about love
except that you don't?
The heavens have opened,
and you say they won't.
So you rip out your heart
and you put it to freeze.
And she seems happier without me.
So what do you know about love?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Through the Trees- Low Shoulder
All alone in an empty room
nothing left but the memories
of when I had my best friend.
I don't know how we ended up here.
I don't know but it's never been so clear
we made a mistake, dear.
And I see the broken glass in front of me.
I see your shadow hanging over me
and your face, I can see
Through the trees
I will find you
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
Because I'm still here breathing now
until I'm set free
go quiet through the trees
I remember how we used to talk
about the places we would go when we went off
and all that we were gonna find.
And I remember our seeds grow
and how you cried when you saw
the first leaves show.
The love was pouring from your eyes.
So can you see
the branches hanging over me?
Can you see
the love you left inside of me?
In my face can you see?
Through the trees
I will find you.
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
I'm still here breathing now
until I'm set free,
I'll go quiet through the trees.
Because you're not coming back
take my breath as your own
and take my eyes to guide you home.
Because I'm still here breathing now
And I'm still here...
But you're not coming back.
So I'll go quiet through the trees.
nothing left but the memories
of when I had my best friend.
I don't know how we ended up here.
I don't know but it's never been so clear
we made a mistake, dear.
And I see the broken glass in front of me.
I see your shadow hanging over me
and your face, I can see
Through the trees
I will find you
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
Because I'm still here breathing now
until I'm set free
go quiet through the trees
I remember how we used to talk
about the places we would go when we went off
and all that we were gonna find.
And I remember our seeds grow
and how you cried when you saw
the first leaves show.
The love was pouring from your eyes.
So can you see
the branches hanging over me?
Can you see
the love you left inside of me?
In my face can you see?
Through the trees
I will find you.
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
I'm still here breathing now
until I'm set free,
I'll go quiet through the trees.
Because you're not coming back
take my breath as your own
and take my eyes to guide you home.
Because I'm still here breathing now
And I'm still here...
But you're not coming back.
So I'll go quiet through the trees.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Spaces
The space between the tears we cry,
is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more.
The space between the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep safe from the pain.
But will I hold you again?
We're strange allies with warring hearts.
Will I hold you again?
Look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller coaster.
You know you went off like a devil
in a church in the middle of a crowded room.
All we can do, my love,
is hope we don't take this ship down.
The space between where you're smiling high
is where you'll find me if I get to go.
The space between the bullets in our firefight
is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you.
The rain that falls
splash in your heart ran like sadness down the window into
the space between
Take my hand 'cause we're walking out of here.
Love is all we need here.
The space between what's wrong and right
is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you.
The space between your heart and mine
is the space we'll fill with time.
is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more.
The space between the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep safe from the pain.
But will I hold you again?
We're strange allies with warring hearts.
Will I hold you again?
Look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller coaster.
You know you went off like a devil
in a church in the middle of a crowded room.
All we can do, my love,
is hope we don't take this ship down.
The space between where you're smiling high
is where you'll find me if I get to go.
The space between the bullets in our firefight
is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you.
The rain that falls
splash in your heart ran like sadness down the window into
the space between
Take my hand 'cause we're walking out of here.
Love is all we need here.
The space between what's wrong and right
is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you.
The space between your heart and mine
is the space we'll fill with time.
Hang- Matchbox 20
She grabs her magazines, she packs her things and she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall,
she burns all her notes.
And she knows, she's been here too few years
to feel this old.
He smokes his cigarette, he stays outside until it's gone.
If anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn't be alone .
He knows, she's been here too few years
to be gone
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday.
But if there's nothing there to make things change,
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
The trouble, understand, is she got reasons he don't.
Funny how he couldn't see at all until she grabbed up her coat.
And she goes, she's been here too few years
to take it all in stride
But still it's much too long to let hurt go
(you let her go)
And we always say that it would be good to go away, someday.
But if there's nothing there to make things change,
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang.
For you I'll always hang.
Well I always say, it would be good to go away.
But if things don't work out like we think
and there's nothing there to ease this ache
and if there's nothing there to make things change,
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang.
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall,
she burns all her notes.
And she knows, she's been here too few years
to feel this old.
He smokes his cigarette, he stays outside until it's gone.
If anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn't be alone .
He knows, she's been here too few years
to be gone
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday.
But if there's nothing there to make things change,
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
The trouble, understand, is she got reasons he don't.
Funny how he couldn't see at all until she grabbed up her coat.
And she goes, she's been here too few years
to take it all in stride
But still it's much too long to let hurt go
(you let her go)
And we always say that it would be good to go away, someday.
But if there's nothing there to make things change,
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang.
For you I'll always hang.
Well I always say, it would be good to go away.
But if things don't work out like we think
and there's nothing there to ease this ache
and if there's nothing there to make things change,
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I Don't Believe You- P!nk
I don't mind it, I don't mind at all.
It's like you're the swing set
and I'm the kid that falls.
It's like the way we fight, the times we've cried,
we come to blows and every night
the passion's there
so it's got to be right, right?
No, I don't believe you
when you say "don't come around here any more."
I won't remind you.
You said we wouldn't be apart
so I don't believe you
when you say you don't want me anymore.
So please don't pretend to not love me at all
I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams
when you can't wake up.
It looks like you've given up.
You've had enough but I want more
No I won't stop because I just know
you'll come around, right?
No I don't want to believe you
when you say "don't come around here any more."
And I won't remind you.
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No, I don't want to believe you
when you say you don't want me anymore.
So please don't pretend to hate me.
Just don't stand there and watch me fall
because I still don't mind at all.
It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried
We come to blows and every night
the passion's there
so it's got to be right, right?
It's like you're the swing set
and I'm the kid that falls.
It's like the way we fight, the times we've cried,
we come to blows and every night
the passion's there
so it's got to be right, right?
No, I don't believe you
when you say "don't come around here any more."
I won't remind you.
You said we wouldn't be apart
so I don't believe you
when you say you don't want me anymore.
So please don't pretend to not love me at all
I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams
when you can't wake up.
It looks like you've given up.
You've had enough but I want more
No I won't stop because I just know
you'll come around, right?
No I don't want to believe you
when you say "don't come around here any more."
And I won't remind you.
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No, I don't want to believe you
when you say you don't want me anymore.
So please don't pretend to hate me.
Just don't stand there and watch me fall
because I still don't mind at all.
It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried
We come to blows and every night
the passion's there
so it's got to be right, right?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Burning in Beautiful Love- The Afters
Far away, I feel your beating heart.All alone, beneath the crystal stars,
staring into space with a lonely face,
I'll try to find my place with you.
What a beautiful smile.
Can I stay for a while?
On this beautiful night
we'll make everything right,
my beautiful love.
Maybe a greater thing will happen.
Maybe we will see.
Maybe our love will catch like fire again
and burn in us as it burns in me.
Ocean Wide- The Afters
Look outside,
it's already light
all the stars ran away with the night.
Things were said,
words that we'll try to forget.
It's so hard to admit
I know we made mistakes,
but I see through all the tears
and that's what got us here
If love is an ocean wide
we'll swim in the tears we both cried.
They'll see us through to the other side.
We're gonna make it.
When love is a raging sea
you can hold on to me.
We'll find a way, tonight.
Love is an ocean wide.
I'll stay right here,
it's where I'll always belong
I always want to be in your arms
Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set.
I don't want to forget
what made us feel this way, in love.
You see through all my fears,
and that's what got us here.
If love is an ocean wide
we'll swim in the tears we cried.
They'll see us through to the other side
and we're gonna make it.
When love is a raging sea,
you can hold on to me.
We'll find a way, tonight.
Love is an ocean wide.
Love is too much to forget
even when we think can.
I think we can make it tonight
if love is an ocean wide.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams
Look into my eyes and you will see
what you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there
you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true,
everything I do,
I do it for you
Look into my heart and you will find
there's nothing there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it there's nothing I want more
You know it's true
everything I do
I do it for you
There's no love like your love
and no other could give more love
There's nowhere unless you're there
All the time, all the way
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
I can't help it there's nothing I want more
I would fight for you,
I'd lie for you,
walk the wire for you,
yeah, I'd die for you
You know it's true
that everything I do,
I do it for you
I'll be there for you
what you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there
you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true,
everything I do,
I do it for you
Look into my heart and you will find
there's nothing there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it there's nothing I want more
You know it's true
everything I do
I do it for you
There's no love like your love
and no other could give more love
There's nowhere unless you're there
All the time, all the way
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
I can't help it there's nothing I want more
I would fight for you,
I'd lie for you,
walk the wire for you,
yeah, I'd die for you
You know it's true
that everything I do,
I do it for you
I'll be there for you
Beautiful Mess- Jason Mraz
You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man
and lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy, humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language and shorty cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective but your mind is rather reckless
Well, I guess it just suggests, that this is just what happiness is
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve, you could call it fiction
'cause I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
'Cause here we are
Although you were biased, I loved your advice
Your comebacks, they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy
depending on how you take these words
They're paraphrasing this relationship we're staging
And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like we're picking up trash in dresses
Here we are, here we are
We're still here
And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is
"here we are"
And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn, and hearts disfigure
but that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
but it's nice today
Oh, the wait is always worth it
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man
and lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy, humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language and shorty cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective but your mind is rather reckless
Well, I guess it just suggests, that this is just what happiness is
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve, you could call it fiction
'cause I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
'Cause here we are
Although you were biased, I loved your advice
Your comebacks, they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy
depending on how you take these words
They're paraphrasing this relationship we're staging
And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like we're picking up trash in dresses
Here we are, here we are
We're still here
And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is
"here we are"
And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn, and hearts disfigure
but that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
but it's nice today
Oh, the wait is always worth it
Splender
There are a lot of things I understand
And there are a lot of things that I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
not to look me in the eyes
It's alright, I'm okay,
I think I can explain
I have changed, I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm okay
I think I can explain
I'm relieved, I'm in pain
I'll get over it again
The scent of Vaseline in the summertime
The feel of an ice cube melting over time
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when us me and you
It's alright, I'm okay,
I think I can explain
Don't believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It alright, I'm okay
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm in pain
I'll get over it in the end
------
I wont tell you my name,
I avoid all those things
all together
I'm so high
Well I know it was dumb
staring right at the sun
Stoned forever
Well it wont be the first or the last time
the world passes by
I'm a space boy
I don't want to be found
I'm a space boy
So stop holding me down
And I'd love if I never returned to the ground
Well can we still be friends?
Well I guess that depends
How's the weather from so high?
Well I know its a shame
Why do you cause all this strain
all together?
Well it wont be the first or the last
time I wanted to try
I'm a space boy
I don't want to look down
I'm a space boy
Ive been floating around
And I'd love if I never returned to the ground
I can see all the world going by
I'm a space boy
I don't want to be found
I'm a killjoy
so stop holding me down
And I'd love if I never returned to the ground
And there are a lot of things that I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
not to look me in the eyes
It's alright, I'm okay,
I think I can explain
I have changed, I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm okay
I think I can explain
I'm relieved, I'm in pain
I'll get over it again
The scent of Vaseline in the summertime
The feel of an ice cube melting over time
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when us me and you
It's alright, I'm okay,
I think I can explain
Don't believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It alright, I'm okay
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm in pain
I'll get over it in the end
------
I wont tell you my name,
I avoid all those things
all together
I'm so high
Well I know it was dumb
staring right at the sun
Stoned forever
Well it wont be the first or the last time
the world passes by
I'm a space boy
I don't want to be found
I'm a space boy
So stop holding me down
And I'd love if I never returned to the ground
Well can we still be friends?
Well I guess that depends
How's the weather from so high?
Well I know its a shame
Why do you cause all this strain
all together?
Well it wont be the first or the last
time I wanted to try
I'm a space boy
I don't want to look down
I'm a space boy
Ive been floating around
And I'd love if I never returned to the ground
I can see all the world going by
I'm a space boy
I don't want to be found
I'm a killjoy
so stop holding me down
And I'd love if I never returned to the ground
Photographs and Memories- Jason Reeves
I keep your picture by my bed for when I'm feeling sad and I don't know why I would be. The way your smile looks so real I feel like I could start to understand your grace.
But I don't understand why you're not here with me.
And I don't even wanna know where else you'd be.
'Cause I have photographs and memories
of the times when you weren't on my mind and I wasn't alone.
And I have poetry and drawings of my life
when you were by my side and I didn't know
just what is love?
Writing moments on the wall with different colors
keeps my mind away from missing you.
And I can't wait to fall asleep to slip into my dreams
where we can dance upon a star.
And I will be as patient as a girl in love could ever be
'cause I don't feel like I was real until you were a part of me.
I need your smile, I need your eyes, I need you, dear.
And every line on your face males a beautiful maze
for my eyes to trace
But I have photographs and memories of the times
when you weren't on my mind and I wasn't alone.
And I have poetry and drawings of my life
when you were by my side and I didn't know
just what is love?
Gone to the Hillside
He sat there on the hillside, his face all caked in white.
He said, "darling, what's that weighing on your mind on such a night?"
I turned to him to whisper, "my spirit isn't strong"
but when I turned around, the wise old man was gone.
So I walked along that hillside, my eyes all laced in tears
wondering what had happened, how I'd lost the fondest years.
When the old man came beside me and laid his hand in mine
he said, "don't be so down, my love, because one day you will find
the place with no horizon,
a sky that never ends,
the place where golden silence
is the only thing that mends.
Although you may be broken,
may your wounded heart stay strong
because one day you will find
the place where pain is gone."
Departing with a whisper, that wise man faded down
and the silence in the shadows was all that was around.
So I continued down the hillside, listening to the rain
wondering where this place was, the place that cures the pain.
And I came upon a river with mirrors in the sand
I looked down and saw what I once thought was that old, wise, strengthened man.
His pale complexion looked back at me, his eyes so learned and worn
and his lips motioned the caring words I had heard a time before.
He said "someday you will find yourself, the you you used to love
and someday you will find the place that falls from up above.
And that someday when you know yourself, is the someday that you'll see
that all the times of loneliness were occupied by me.
Now confusion set in in as I slowly walked away
perplexed by the enthralling things that old man had to say.
As I followed the river to the end of the road,
I whispered in silence at what was beginning to unfold.
I saw that old man at the end of the street, walking slowly and shuffling his feet.
When I called the old man he just stopped and he smiled
he said, "there you are. You've been lost for a while"
I said, "what do you mean? I've been here all along."
He said, "in body you have, but in mind you've been gone."
Gone to the place filled with laughter and grins,
gone to the place where the healing begins.
Gone to the place where love lasts forever,
gone to the place where each day is better.
I have seen your distant future intertwined within your past
and I know what lies within you, I know that strength will last."
So I smiled at the beauty of what my sad eyes couldn't see
and I smiled at the thought that the wise old man was me
Monday, September 14, 2009
Happy Birthday, Son
To my favorite boy:
You are two years old today. I remember the day I first met you. Instantly, I fell in love with you. I thought you were the most perfect thing in the entire world. You were, and still are, a beautiful reflection of everything that is good in the world to me. And no matter what happens in this life, just know that you will forever have my hand, and you will forever have my heart.
I've been blind and I couldn't see
that all the love I've wanted is right here in front of me.
He gives me reason to get through another day
with how he loves me in his special little way.
And when it gets hard for me to sleep at night
he wraps his little arms around me
and says he will always make things right.
From sweet gentle touches to his big hugs and a kiss,
he makes this Hell on Earth seem more like a peaceful bliss.
That big Kool-Aid smile and the twinkle in his eyes,
every time I look at him it makes me want to cry.
But not tears of sorrow, tears of pride and joy
to know that all the love in my heart is wrapped around
my little boy.
Roadside Love
Hello again, drifting, dark night skyThis night is my companion as I walk along the roadside
With memories trapped in yearning,
thoughts entranced in time,
how is it a question why you're always on my mind?
The embers from the headlights
keep my eyes upon this life
And the darkness in the shadows
keeps me focused on my strife
Plush flowers brush my ankles
as I pass through fields of tears
As I walk along the roadside
you're the only thing I hear
Through this life I've stumbled, fallen to the lies
Every word spoken to me is in riddles and in rhymes
But when my body aches to hear the truth
your words keep me alive
keep me walking steady down the roadside
I'll wander through this night forever,
it's the morning that I dread
And on the roadside is where I find
that this love was never dead
Just close your eyes, darkened sky
and wrap me in your black glove
As I cry again to the empty night
About this dying roadside love
Only One- Yellowcard
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up and I give up
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up, I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Here I go, so dishonestly
leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
so let me go and you will find someone
Hear I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up and I give up
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up, I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Here I go, so dishonestly
leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
so let me go and you will find someone
Hear I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
Truth Speaks
The smoke from your cigarette draws a fading circle around the words that I am scared to speak. And just like that, they fade away with the subtle breeze. Sometimes words are the best things we can give other people, and sometimes words are the hardest things to offer.
So you’ve dreamed
that love was as great as the stars
So you wake
to find that this all that you are
Well I just want to be
what you think of when you smile
And I just want to be
what’s reflected in your eyes
But every time I tried to tell you,
the words just came out wrong
So I guess I'll have to tell you
I love you
in a song
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Grace is Gone- Dave Matthews
I could never love again
so much as I love you
Where you end, where I begin
is like a river running through
Take my heart, take my eyes
I need them no more
if never again they fall
upon the one I so adore
Excuse me please, one more drink
Could you make it strong?
'cause I don't need to think
With a broken heart
My grace is gone
One more drink and I'll be gone
One drink to remember
then another to forget
I think of every day to find
A love like you again
One drink to remember
and another to forget
so much as I love you
Where you end, where I begin
is like a river running through
Take my heart, take my eyes
I need them no more
if never again they fall
upon the one I so adore
Excuse me please, one more drink
Could you make it strong?
'cause I don't need to think
With a broken heart
My grace is gone
One more drink and I'll be gone
One drink to remember
then another to forget
I think of every day to find
A love like you again
One drink to remember
and another to forget
Blind- Lifehouse
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
I couldn't make you see
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like it was before
But nights like this, it seems, are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
I never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this war
would you ever wanna leave it?
Maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
I couldn't make you see it
I Couldn't make you see
that I loved you more than you will ever know
And part of me died when I let you go
I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
I couldn't make you see
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like it was before
But nights like this, it seems, are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
I never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this war
would you ever wanna leave it?
Maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
I couldn't make you see it
I Couldn't make you see
that I loved you more than you will ever know
And part of me died when I let you go
I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
For Love
It's amazing to me, with all of the people in the world, that one person can do so much for you. That person that occupies your every waking thought and your every sleeping dream. That person that every lyric to every love song ever composed makes you think of. It's easy for me to tell people that I'm not hung up on her, but as hard as I try, I can't convince myself of it. I can't convince myself that I don't love her. When people ask me what I miss about her, what I love about her, I sit and I think "with confidence, I can promise you this...." I love her smile, I love her eyes, the look of pure, uninhibited admiration that she gives to everything she cares about. That witty charm and that philosophical thinking. The way she carries herself. I love her hopes and her dreams. I love her laugh and her hands and her attitude towards life. I love the color of her personality. I love the way she loves our son, the way she loved me. Sometimes you can't really explain love, and it is for this reason that I get so hung up on it. I don't understand how I can love someone so much but let them walk away every day without knowing it. The idea of it cripples me almost as much as the fear of saying it does. She is my life, I know this. She is everyone and everything I want to spend forever with. But she doesn't feel the same way. So how do I let it go? Maybe I never will. Maybe I never want to.
There's something about this time of year
that spins my head around,
takes me back, makes me wonder
What she's doing now
What she's doing now is tearing me apart,
filling up my mind, and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows
what she's doing now.
There's something about this time of year
that spins my head around,
takes me back, makes me wonder
What she's doing now
What she's doing now is tearing me apart,
filling up my mind, and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows
what she's doing now.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Caught Up In You- 38 Special
I never knew there would come a day
When I'd be saying to you,
"Don't let this good love slip away
now that we know that it's true."
Don't you know the kind of person I am?
No, said I'd never fall in love again
But it's real and the feeling comes shining through
So caught up in you, little girl
And I never did suspect a thing
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true,
you're the one
who caught me baby you taught me
how good it could be
It took so long to change my mind
I thought that love was a game
I played around enough to find
that no two are ever the same
You made me realized the love I missed
Love I couldn't quite resist
When it's right, the light just comes shining through
So caught up in you
Fill your days and your nights
No need to ever ask me twice
Whenever you want me,
if ever comes a day
Please don't turn and walk away
I can't live without you
So caught up in you
So caught up in you, little girl
And I never did suspect a thing
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true,
you're the one
who caught me baby you taught me
how good it could be
When I'd be saying to you,
"Don't let this good love slip away
now that we know that it's true."
Don't you know the kind of person I am?
No, said I'd never fall in love again
But it's real and the feeling comes shining through
So caught up in you, little girl
And I never did suspect a thing
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true,
you're the one
who caught me baby you taught me
how good it could be
It took so long to change my mind
I thought that love was a game
I played around enough to find
that no two are ever the same
You made me realized the love I missed
Love I couldn't quite resist
When it's right, the light just comes shining through
So caught up in you
Fill your days and your nights
No need to ever ask me twice
Whenever you want me,
if ever comes a day
Please don't turn and walk away
I can't live without you
So caught up in you
So caught up in you, little girl
And I never did suspect a thing
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true,
you're the one
who caught me baby you taught me
how good it could be
Dear Journal:
Today was a day full of emotion.There was excitement, there was anticipation, there was happiness, there was sadness. I was surrounded by everyone I love, but I still felt so hollow and empty.
I love that boy more than life. He is my heart and soul, and his life alone is what gives me the desire to breathe every day. Seeing him smile, feeling his hugs, hearing his laugh; all of it warms my hollow soul. He fills my empty heart and gives me more joy than anyone else can. But I can never escape the feeling of guilt that I have; the feeling that I abandoned him and let him down. When he lays his head on my shoulder and hugs me tightly, I always have to fight back tears. I never thought that I would love someone the way that I love him, and I never though I would lose someone that I loved so much. Every time he leaves, blowing kisses and yelling "I love you Ashley," that hollow feeling comes back again. I remember the days when the longest I had to miss him were the three days during the week that he went to his dad's. Now...I never know when the next time I'll get to see him is. And that feeling weighs on me so much that I break sometimes.
Today at his birthday party, I cried. Yeah... As much as I promised myself and everyone else that I wouldn't, I broke down. It just all finally got to me. For so long, I viewed this boy as my son. Even from the very beginning, I did all that I could to make sure that Wesley knew how much I love him and how much I am willing to devote to him. For so long, we raised him together; went on walks together, ate dinner together, gave him baths and read him stories, and put him to bed together. We gave him all of the love that we had in our hearts and produced this wonderful, flawless image of our love and our passions and our convictions. We both raised this boy as "our son" loving him unconditionally, regardless of anything we may have been going through as a couple. And now it is "awkward" when I go to his birthday party.
I understand how the situation is uncomfortable for some of us involved, but I want so badly to be as much of a part of Wesley's life as Kristen is and as Evan is and as Mo now is. I try to interact with Mo, I try let her know that I want to interact with her, and I want to be on good terms with both her and Kristen, but she just doesn't give anything back. Maybe it is awkward for her, which I can definitely understand, but if we both try, maybe we can all be okay together. Maybe that's not possible...maybe I'm hoping for too much. But I believe Kristen when she says that I am as much of a parent to Wesley as she is, and I am willing to do anything to keep "my son" in my life. I hope Kris is genuine in the things that she says, and I hope that she understands the love I have for both her and Wesley. I know that love will never go away, no matter what. Maybe someday it will all turn around. Maybe someday we will get to a point where we can be okay. I guess only time will tell. Here's to hoping.
I love that boy more than life. He is my heart and soul, and his life alone is what gives me the desire to breathe every day. Seeing him smile, feeling his hugs, hearing his laugh; all of it warms my hollow soul. He fills my empty heart and gives me more joy than anyone else can. But I can never escape the feeling of guilt that I have; the feeling that I abandoned him and let him down. When he lays his head on my shoulder and hugs me tightly, I always have to fight back tears. I never thought that I would love someone the way that I love him, and I never though I would lose someone that I loved so much. Every time he leaves, blowing kisses and yelling "I love you Ashley," that hollow feeling comes back again. I remember the days when the longest I had to miss him were the three days during the week that he went to his dad's. Now...I never know when the next time I'll get to see him is. And that feeling weighs on me so much that I break sometimes.
Today at his birthday party, I cried. Yeah... As much as I promised myself and everyone else that I wouldn't, I broke down. It just all finally got to me. For so long, I viewed this boy as my son. Even from the very beginning, I did all that I could to make sure that Wesley knew how much I love him and how much I am willing to devote to him. For so long, we raised him together; went on walks together, ate dinner together, gave him baths and read him stories, and put him to bed together. We gave him all of the love that we had in our hearts and produced this wonderful, flawless image of our love and our passions and our convictions. We both raised this boy as "our son" loving him unconditionally, regardless of anything we may have been going through as a couple. And now it is "awkward" when I go to his birthday party.
I understand how the situation is uncomfortable for some of us involved, but I want so badly to be as much of a part of Wesley's life as Kristen is and as Evan is and as Mo now is. I try to interact with Mo, I try let her know that I want to interact with her, and I want to be on good terms with both her and Kristen, but she just doesn't give anything back. Maybe it is awkward for her, which I can definitely understand, but if we both try, maybe we can all be okay together. Maybe that's not possible...maybe I'm hoping for too much. But I believe Kristen when she says that I am as much of a parent to Wesley as she is, and I am willing to do anything to keep "my son" in my life. I hope Kris is genuine in the things that she says, and I hope that she understands the love I have for both her and Wesley. I know that love will never go away, no matter what. Maybe someday it will all turn around. Maybe someday we will get to a point where we can be okay. I guess only time will tell. Here's to hoping.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
More Than Anyone- Gavin DeGraw
You need a friend,
I'll be around.
Don't let this end
before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
to change your mind of me?
I want to love you more than anyone
I want to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, may your body be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color, look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I promise I will try
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body will be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna to love you more than anyone
Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together, baby
Free together, baby
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'll be around.
Don't let this end
before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
to change your mind of me?
I want to love you more than anyone
I want to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, may your body be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color, look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I promise I will try
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body will be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna to love you more than anyone
Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together, baby
Free together, baby
I'm gonna love you more than anyone
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