Change

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

~Barack Obama

We Don't Have to Look Back Now- Puddle of Mudd

I'm so much like you
Restless and reckless
I need a clue
So show me a sign
I feel like making a move
Real geographic, a change in mood
We'll let go of everything we know

You and I will ride tonight
'Till the past is out of sight
We don't have to look back now
From the dark into the light
We can leave it all behind
We can stand together, we don't have to look back now

I'm so much like you
Caught in a moment, coming unglued
In a world so big, it's not easy to choose
Which path to take, which pawn to move
So we'll let go of everything we've ever known

You and I will ride tonight
'Till the past is out of sight
We don't have to look back now
We are knocking down the wall, all for one and one for all
We can stand together
Never gonna look back now

Oh no, Oh no
We don't have to look back now

A Friend to Me

We are more alike than many know, you and I.
I, the giver and you, the receiver.
Yet you unknowingly give so much.
You showed me the world as I had never seen it before.
You gave me hope and inspiration to which I once was blind.
You offered kindness when all the world could give me was hate.
You provided an uncensored, unbiased critique of my talents.
You told me when I was bad, abut also when I was good.
You were my friend, my outlet, and the one whom I knew all of my secrets were safe with.
I left you for far too long, but now I wish to take you back.
I want to start over, fresh and new.
I want another chance to evoke emotion; to create magic through a simple touch.
Until you know how much you mean to me, I vow to never again put you down.

As I run my fingers gracefully along your body, slowly and effortlessly tracing your tightly wound strings, I whisper to myself...
"This is the new beginning."

An Inspirational Inspiration

Often times in life, things just inspire you. Whether they inspire you to sing, or to dance, to paint, or to write, certain things just make you have that burning desire to "do." These things are often small, and in effect easily overlooked. Birds chirping, the wind blowing, the sun rising, rain falling; these can simply be everyday events to the average person, but for someone who has the innate gift of perception, they are immaculate gifts of inspiration. Life is inspiration in itself; you just have to know how to see it, how to hear it, and how to feel it. Slow dancing in city streets and sleeping amidst summer rain. Warm breezes and soft sounds, dim lights and soft touches; everything inspires.
When I write, it is never forced. When I write, it is because I have been inspired. Even if I never write for anyone to see, I write for me, because it is what I need. It is my outlet. Words are tools of captivation, and life is a tool of inspiration. To be able to intertwine the two is a gift that should never be forgotten, and never be but to rest. No words should be wasted, and complex wording does not have to exist in describing simple beauty. I sometimes just write in simple, incomplete sentences, just to describe the way I am feeling at that very moment in time. In this case, simple is often better, because the reader is able to feel what you are saying, not simply read it.
Inspiration comes in many forms, you just have to understand how to harness it and use it to your advantage. Keeping your senses open is the true key to thoughtful, insightful inspiration, and being yourself is the true key to thoughtful insight. Always sing like no one’s listening, dance like no one’s watching, and write like no one’s reading.

Everything That Means Anything to Me

Beautifully broken, I was not born blind
The world took my sight and made it unkind
I can see what you are, though I can’t see the light
I am masked by the feeling in the words that I write

I can see what you are and what I wish that you were
For love’s sweetest torture there is not a cure
But I carry the burden of love on my back
In hopes that my heart will someday be intact

The chapters of life always crippled with weight
But the chapters of love keep it sheltered from hate
A recent upturning of things so unsure
A broken heart opens and closes, not pure

For you I will be an existence for life
I will always be yours, you will never be mine.

Only Love

You come to me for salvation,

an escape from the rest of the world

I accept the invitation but far too soon,

intentions get lost.

A friend or an enemy? I cannot decide

Should I stick around, or should I run and hide?

I am not a savoir anymore

I am not your savior

I am here, and have always been

I will always be underneath you

Another’s thoughts are lost within mine

I am not a deliverer anymore

I am not your deliverer

Be my lasting impression, the one I run to at day’s end

My heart is yours but it is bound and broken

I am not a rescuer anymore

I am not your rescuer

I cannot save, I cannot sacrifice

for there is nothing left to give here

nothing left but wasted space

I am not a savior, not a deliverer, not a rescuer,

only a vice

My arms are always open, but always full

My intentions are always clear and honest

but they are turned cold

because I exist only in frailty.

I cannot save, I cannot redeem, I cannot rescue

I can only love

Hand Me Down- Matchbox Twenty

Someday they'll find your small town world on a big town avenue
Gonna make you like the way they talk when they're talking to you
Gonna make you break out of your shell cause they tell you to
Gonna make you like the way they lie better than the truth
They'll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say
They're gonna break your heart, yeah

From what I've seen
You're just one more hand me down
Cause no one's tried to give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now

Somebody oughta take you in
Try to make you love again
Try to make you like the way they feel
When they're under your skin
Never once did you think they would lie when they're holding you
You wonder why they haven't called
When they said they'd call you
You start to wonder if you're ever gonna make it by
You'll start to think you were born blind


From what I've seen
You're just one more hand me down
Cause no one's tried to give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now

I'm here for the hard times
The straight to your heart times
When livin' ain't easy
You can stand up against me
And MAYBE rely on me
And cry on me, yeah

Some day they'll open up your world
Shake you down to the drawing board
Do their best to change you
They still can't erase you


From what I've seen
You're just one more hand me down
Cause no one's tried to give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now

Lay them down on me
Oh yeah
You're just one more hand me down
And all those nights don't give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down...on me

A 'High'tened Awareness

It was like I was dreaming, and life moved in slow motion. Every moment lasted for what felt like forever. I felt so light. And then I felt heavy. And light again. My muscles were tense. I focused on tiny things for a really long time. Things faded in and out. Every noise was magnified by 1000. There was transition in location, but I was not at all aware. I remember stop signs with no words. I remember everything and nothing at the same time. My arms ached, and then felt numb, and then felt tingly, and then ached again.
When I laid my head down, I began to have flashbacks and reoccurring dreams that I remember from when I was young. It was weird. Things moved in sequence. In a very meticulous pattern. Now I feel slightly nauseous, and my arms feel heavy. I think I am going to go lie down...

...Most of All...

So afraid of losing you

so I pushed you far away,

To stubborn to believe in you,

when you told me that you'd stay.

Afraid of saying something wrong,

I never spoke at all

But of all the words lost in my heart,

it's "I love you", most of all.

Poems I never gave to you,

songs I never sang to you,

moments I never shared with you,

I love you most of all.

Times I never spent with you,

gifts I never sent to you,

places I never went with you,

I love you most of all.

There's times that I just need your smile,

if only for a little while,

When I dream of us walking down the aisle,

I love you most of all.

Things I've done I can't undo,

things I've done that just hurt you,

I wish that we could start anew,

I love you most of all.

I dream that someday you'll love me, dear,

but the future now is so unclear,

just know my heart is so sincere,

and I love you most all.

Love and Life and In Between

Life is full of opportunity. Life is all about change. Sometimes change is voluntary, sometimes change is necessary. Life is about choice. One choice, no matter how simple it seems, can change your entire life. Life always pushes. You can either choose to let it push you down, or you can choose to push back. And it is much easier to fall than it is to get up when you are down.

It is easy to justify stubbornness with fear. Ultimately though, stubbornness inhibits growth and fear results in loss. Loss of opportunity, loss of ones-self, loss of love. It is when you know the difference between wrong and right that you know what to fight for. In the end, the only things worth having are the things you have to fight for. No matter how hard it might be to put your own foolish convictions aside, no matter how much it hurts, the alternative hurts much worse.

To find somewhere you belong is always hard. To find someone who accepts you regardless of that is even harder. You can spend years searching for something and working for something, and it can all be gone in one second, with one action or one thought. It is much easier to lose things than it is to get them back and just as easily as someone comes into your life, they can choose to leave.

Strength is not generally something you are just born with. It is something you must attain, something you must earn. Direction is never guaranteed, you have to create your own path. Every day, with every choice you make, every word you say and every action in your life, whether consciously or not, you create your own path. Everyone strives to be great. Most people just aren’t strong enough to get there. You can live your life with the best of intentions, but in the end that is all they really are. Just good intentions. When those intentions become less and less real, you slowly start to give up on yourself. And when you give up on yourself is when everything falls apart. It is always better to let loving get in the way of living than to let living get in the way of love.

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” ~James A. Baldwin

Love is possibly the greatest and most misunderstood of all human emotion. It can be simple yet complex, easy yet difficult, and empowering yet crippling. It can bring tears, both good and bad. It can change your entire life. It can be everything you need and more. It can be gained and lost, lost and found. Something so important but that is not guaranteed. It can be fearless yet cowardly, beautiful yet blind, old yet strong, mysterious yet all-knowing. Love is everything.

For all of the love in the world, there are many different degrees. The way you love your parents and your relatives; the way you love your siblings and your friends; the way you love yourself. Love can be hard, and love can be soft, but either way, love is a great tool. When a friend is down, sometimes even a smile can make them happy. This is love. When we hug our parents and feel an overwhelming sense of relief and joy, this is love.

Power exists only in compassion and understanding. It is hard sometimes to grasp the concept that something so intangible can have such an effect on humanity. But this is why so may friendships, so many relationships, fail. It is not because people do not care, but because they do not know and do not understand. They do not know the power of their words and actions. They do not understand the responsibility that goes along with loving someone else. We do not always realize our power. Those we love help us grow and make us who we are. Every person we come in contact with has an impact on our lives, some even more so than others. Sometimes, we are all each other needs to grow strong and powerful. Love is a process, not a moment.

Not all love is easy, and perfect love exists only in fairy tales. Still, not all fairy tales have a happy ending. However easy it may make things seem, the fear of love is not an option. Neither is the loss of compassion and trust. Without trust, there can be no belief. No belief in kindness, or in integrity; in anything. Never accept the self-defeating fear of losing; of not being enough. We must have the ability to care, and not to care. We must know how to live, how to learn, and how to love, for it is the greatest gift we have to give. Love can offer great weakness, but also great strength. The labor of love is often the greatest kind, but it is always the most rewarding. You give so much, but get all that and more in return. Often times love is judged by the world, but there is no room for this mixed up world to judge something so pure and so truthful, amidst all of its languished grace. Never fear love.

We must learn from our mistakes, and have no regrets. We must allow our hearts to be broken, and always get back up when we fall. Loving each other is the only way to make life worth living. Love is the most intense of all emotion. We must be wary in love, but not so much as to let it pass us by because we fear letting it sink into our hearts. We can never let a broken heart stop us from trying again. Everything happens for a reason and every reason has its place in the shaping or our characters. Mistakes can make us strong. Strength can only be attained through the knowledge, awareness, and understanding of weakness, and true strength is not measured in the body, but rather, in the heart. Love will keep us sound, and love will make us strong.

"Be still, and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing.” ~T.S. Elliot

Prelude

It’s getting too late, too late to

sleep, too late to dream.

The world is too much unless we

can see our sordid ways.

And then it becomes out of tune.

Until we can fix ourselves.

But in of all this, all of the hours, all of the time,

self-awareness exists.

It is the prelude to life.

So deep and wordy,

so cultured and well-read.

But does this mask hypocrisy and self-loathing?

All of the teeming diction in the world

cannot change selfishness and impaired grace.

Yes, knowledge is power,

but books can only take us from one cover to the next.

Life’s pages are much more complex.

A certain beauty rests in the copious compilation

of suitable words,

But this beauty is minute

compared to the profuse and greatly underestimated

beauty of an innate knowledge of oneself.

Yes you can love, but too often love is not understood,

and therefore not known.

Love’s great divinity.

Even the most sincere laughter and the most joyous thoughts

do nothing for romantic philosophy if they are not

grounded by the ability to know,

accept,

and love

the person you are.

Slow fade to black.

Playing one more game of chivalry.

A battle of wit and words.

Do you see where I’ve been hiding in this game of hide-and-seek?

In this prelude to Life.

Just for Thought

I like driving to school in the mornings. When the sun is just rising, traffic is light, and the air is brisk. It is a moment of peace before a day of work. As I drive up 985, smelling the perfect odor of spearmint gum emitting from Wrigley's factory never fails to make me smile. With the radio loud and the window cracked just enough to feel the cool breeze brushing the sides of my face, I remember why I am so lucky to be alive.


" Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time. If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well. Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done-a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all… because soon he'll be wiping his own. If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because it is most definitely a Gift."
~ Kyle Lake, sermon