My hopes are in the wrong place, I know that. I know that I should be wishing towards different, more obtainable things. But I also know in my heart what I want.
I know what I need to do, what all of my friends say I should do, but I just can't make myself do it. I have spent such a long time working towards what I hope to be the rest of my life. Maybe six months or eight months or even 12 months isn't a long time in the big scheme of things, but maybe I am not as good at playing the waiting game as I used to be. Once you've had a taste of something, it's hard to get that taste out of your mouth. You are just left wanting more. I'm sure by now everyone knows that I am no good with analogies, but that is the best I could come up with. I had a taste of what could be, and now I am wanting it more than ever. But more than ever, I am nervous that the taste will grow bitter with time.
I don't want to rush it, but I don't want to have to let it go either. The distance is killing me, but the closeness took its toll as well. I need to find a happy medium; there is no room for extremes when you are dealing with something so sensitive as this.

So, note to me:
Balance yourself; don't let your head kill your heart, but don't let your heart suffocate your head.
Find closure.
Hold on.
Give her the last thing she's ever asked of you; let go.
Trade control for hope and impatience for love.
It's all just a part of the game of Life.