Everything that I have wished for for so long is finally starting to come true, but I can't help but feel as though I am pushing it away. It's kind of like that experience where you try so hard not to lose something and you put it in a place where you know you wont forget about it, but then when you search for it, you don't know where it is? Okay, well...it's not exacly like that, but it's similar. I am trying so hard not to lose her again that she is actually getting more lost. It seems like the harder I hold on, the more she slips away. I don't want to pressure her and I don't want to hurt her, but I can't seem to help it. My heart tells me that I can wait forever, but my mind says that we need to go back to the place we were a year ago. And my heart tells me that going back to that place would be easy, but my mind tells me that it is going to take a lot of work. It is a constant internal battle. I just need to figure out what to do while she figures out what she's doing.


Our love is strong yet delicate. We will make it.