For Love

It's amazing to me, with all of the people in the world, that one person can do so much for you. That person that occupies your every waking thought and your every sleeping dream. That person that every lyric to every love song ever composed makes you think of. It's easy for me to tell people that I'm not hung up on her, but as hard as I try, I can't convince myself of it. I can't convince myself that I don't love her. When people ask me what I miss about her, what I love about her, I sit and I think "with confidence, I can promise you this...." I love her smile, I love her eyes, the look of pure, uninhibited admiration that she gives to everything she cares about. That witty charm and that philosophical thinking. The way she carries herself. I love her hopes and her dreams. I love her laugh and her hands and her attitude towards life. I love the color of her personality. I love the way she loves our son, the way she loved me. Sometimes you can't really explain love, and it is for this reason that I get so hung up on it. I don't understand how I can love someone so much but let them walk away every day without knowing it. The idea of it cripples me almost as much as the fear of saying it does. She is my life, I know this. She is everyone and everything I want to spend forever with. But she doesn't feel the same way. So how do I let it go? Maybe I never will. Maybe I never want to.


There's something about this time of year
that spins my head around,
takes me back, makes me wonder
What she's doing now

What she's doing now is tearing me apart,
filling up my mind, and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows
what she's doing now.